Father and Son
by Sason
Summary: Whilst tracking down terrorists, Gibbs shoots Tony. With Tony comatose, will Gibbs lose the closest thing to him since losing Shannon and Kelly?
1. Chapter 1

**_disclaimer: I do not own any of the character's in this story and is strictly for entertainment (mainly mine) purposes only. i hope you R&R :)_**

Father and Son  


* * *

"On my count, DiNozzo, you and Ziva move in. McGee and I will follow through the front," Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs explained to his team of dedicated NCIS agents.

"These guys will probably be armed and shoot anything that moves so make sure you keep it low. DiNozzo! Zip up that vest!" Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, senior field agent on Gibbs' team, slapped himself over the head in a Three Stooges imitation. "Sorry Boss, the zip keeps sliding down on it! I'll make sure I get another one…"

"Forget it DiNozzo, you're not coming in without a vest."

"But Boss…" Tony stopped short when he saw the look in Gibbs eyes suggesting that if he didn't shut up and fast, Gibbs would be the one slapping the back of DiNozzo's head.

"Right! Shutting up Boss. What would you like me to do?"

"Go get yourself another vest, then jump in when you do. We'll need all the help we can get on this one."

Gibbs was considered one of the best in the game. His skills as an investigator were not matched by anyone else in the field. He had a 98% success rate at solving cases at NCIS. It was unprecedented and no one had ever come close to matching it. It wasn't all his doing though. He had a very capable team to help him solve cases that the Navy threw at them. There was Anthony DiNozzo, smart-alec extraordinaire and a great investigator to boot. Tony had been with Gibbs the longest out of any agent that he had ever worked with. Yes, he was a pain in the arse most of the time but he did always, somehow, manage to get his job done and done well. The other male member of his team, Timothy McGee, was a renowned computer genius. Could do anything he wanted on those damn things like a dog trainer at a show. McGee was an extremely capable agent and had a style all of his own, even if his approach was atypical of a federal agent, Tim always got the answers when DiNozzo and Ziva had hit brick walls. This brought Gibbs to the third and final member of his field team, Ziva David. Ziva was a Liaison Officer in connection with Moussad, an Israeli group working to stop the terrorism in their country. Ziva had developed quite a few skills as an investigator even though she was originally trained as an assassin. She melded well with all three men, tough and sincere without being narcissistic. Also, she was very able to look after herself.

* * *

DiNozzo ran back to the truck that held all the NCIS gear, including a couple of spare bullet-proof vests. But before Tony even had a chance to open up the truck door, shots had been fired from the warehouse that the team had been going to storm. Without thinking, Tony went into a crouching stance and glanced around the back door of the van, trying to get a visual on what was happening to his team, his family. From his position, DiNozzo could see two men, armed, and firing in the direction that he had just left Gibbs and the others. He looked with intent to see if he could make out his team but they had probably taken cover behind the car they were working their strategy out on. Tony could hear the return fire from the direction of his team and Tony desperately needed to get closer to the warehouse to take out the people that were trying to hurt his family. Tony saw a pile of about fifteen old pallet crates to his right. He decided that he was going to make a run for those crates so that he could make a better line and a better angle to protect his team. Crouched down low, DiNozzo took heed and ran towards the crates, his bullet-proof vest hanging loosely over his torso. As he ran he could hear the deflection of bullets hitting the rocks near his feet as the gunmen missed their moving target. As he ran faster, he heard the noise of return fire from the direction of Gibbs, Ziva and McGee. Getting safely to the crates, DiNozzo took a look to see if he could get a clear shot in at one of the terrorists armed at the windows of the warehouse in the middle of nowhere. How they had got to this point was not important, how they were going to get out of it alive was.

DiNozzo looked over the crates to see his team protected by the car, a blue 2007 Ford Mustang that came standard with the job. From where he stood though, DiNozzo realized that he didn't have any more of a shot at the terrorists than he did from behind the NCIS truck. DiNozzo was going to have to change his tactic. He decided that he was going to take the gunmen by surprise and what better way to do that than by sneaking around the back.

* * *

Gibbs had seen the gunmen but not quickly enough as he watched DiNozzo go and get his new vest on. The shots were fired from the derelict building they stood in front of where a tip had mentioned explosives and people that were very capable of using them inside. Gibbs heard the shot aimed in DiNozzo's direction and quickly made sure to return fire quickly, as well had Tim and Ziva, once they knew the gunman was aiming for Tony. Gibbs could hear the ping of the bullets hitting the rocks on the ground that were a little too close for comfort as well as the clunks of the metal shards lodging into the brand new Mustang. Gibbs was sure Director of NCIS; Leon Vance would have a word or two to him about them. That was not his concern for the moment though. His concern was the safety of his team and to not lose another agent like he had done with Kate. Caitlin Todd, or Kate as she was affectionately known, was an agent that had been executed with a full-metal jacket on top of a building not unlike this one. He had spent nearly a sleepless week tracking her killer down. He was not going to let that happen again. Not to his kids – his team.

The fire fight slowed as both sides had to rally for more bullets. In the commotion, Gibbs made sure to note where DiNozzo was and for the life of him he couldn't see where he had got to. He was hoping that Tony wasn't hurt somewhere out of sight, but in his gut he knew Tony could take care of himself. Tony was special to him. He had been a friend for nearly going on eight years. You begin to spend more time with your team than you would with your family, but that didn't matter to the head agent, DiNozzo, Ziva and Tim were his family – especially Tony. Like family though, Tony would do whatever it takes to protect them and with that thought Gibbs started to worry about what Tony was up to. Gibbs had a bad feeling about this.

* * *

DiNozzo was at the back door of the building and slowly opened the door and took a quick scan of the room inside. He could see piles of boxes covered in labels written in a language he was sure was Arabic. He could hear voices coming from the other end of the tunnel of cardboard. He couldn't understand what they were saying but he could still hear the echoing sounds of gunshots as the noise reverberated between the walls of the hollow room. Slowly, DiNozzo crept trying to avoid making any sound so as to not draw attention to himself. He hadn't really thought this plan through. He was going in with no back up and no idea as to where the shooting was happening. In the dim light that was passing through the dusty windows of the warehouse, Tony could hear the gunshots getting louder. DiNozzo came across the door that Gibbs and McGee were going to bust through before they were rudely interrupted by the gunmen trying to kill them. Tony figured that both gunmen would be to his right. As Tony was about to enter the room he heard Gibbs swear from outside saying something about his gun or his bum. Tony was pretty sure it was the first part. Tony shuffled quietly and skilfully through the doorway of the room that housed the assailants that had been trying to hurt his family. He ran up behind them just as Tony heard the calibre rifle that Gibbs kept in the car for emergencies blast holes through the wall aiming at the terrorist that Tony had witnessed from near the truck. The man yelled loudly as his hand was hit with shrapnel from the shattered wood. The other man was yelling at the injured one to be quiet. Tony used this distraction to get a better position near the men so he could take them by surprise.

* * *

Gibbs was outside ordering Ziva to get the rifle out of the back of car. One of the terrorists shot had been a lucky one, both for him and the shooter. Gibbs handgun had been hit by a bullet causing the trigger to jam. Swearing at the surprise of the shot and also the fact that he was now essentially unarmed, Gibbs had a thought to grab the rifle. The rifle was a strong range rifle and if a person was close enough, you could shoot a through and through injury without much effort. If anything it would cause a major distraction as he tried to figure a way out of this. Gibbs kept wondering where DiNozzo was. It wasn't like DiNozzo to be so quiet for so long, even if he was in another position. Leroy was hoping that he knew his agent well enough that he wouldn't do anything stupid. Unfortunately Gibbs knew Tony too well and was quite sure that he was up to something stupid.

Reacting on the thought that DiNozzo may have tried to follow the plan even without back up, Gibbs decided that he would cause a distraction by firing through walls where he knew his adversaries were within the building and hoping for the best. Gibbs saw a shadow flicker through the window they were near and fired his rifle toward the window feeling satisfaction when he saw a dark haired figure recoil with a simultaneous scream of pain. That had been a lucky shot. Gibbs believed that both he and the terrorist were even on that front.

* * *

Tony used the distraction of the injured gunman to draw up behind the other man idling at the other side of the big dusty window. With one down, Tony only had one more to deal with. He snuck up behind the terrorist, gun at the ready, and placed it firmly into the assailants back. The assailant jumped with his gun in hand into the view of Gibbs team. With the gun aimed in McGee's direction, Gibbs reacted quickly and swiftly, firing three rounds of his rifle shells into the man at the window. Gibbs felt satisfied as he saw the man collapse onto the frame of the window but what he hadn't counted on was the second face – a familiar face – Tony's face! His face, however, looked different. His laconic smile was replaced by a look of shock and Gibbs stared into his face for what seemed like ages. Tony saw Gibbs, gave him a slight smile, pointed his finger to his now stained shirt and collapsed.

Gibbs had essentially gone numb. They had to work fast. Gibbs ordered Ziva and Tim to move in. All three made a run for the main door. Gibbs felt his heart pounding a mile a minute. He had to get to Tony. All of Gibbs orders were given and taken but Gibbs was still on high alert while trying to get to Tony. He and the others didn't know how many more were in the warehouse. The three of them, all with a main focus, kicked the door in and cleared the main section of the warehouse. They had been lucky. No assailants were in sight but then Gibbs turned to the room to his left and he felt the colour drain from his face. Ziva and McGee saw what Gibbs was staring at. Without thinking Gibbs crossed the threshold into the next room without clearing it first. Ziva dragged Gibbs down and waited as McGee gave a quick glace and called the room empty. Gibbs was at Tony's side in a second once Tim gave the word. Gibbs noticed that Tony had not changed his vest and that blood was pouring out from three wounds in his chest. They had heard no other gun shots, did that mean...? Gibbs tried to clear the thought from his head. He had to act quickly.

* * *

"Ziva! Call 9-1-1! Tell them we need an ambulance ASAP! Federal Agent down!"

"Tim, hold his shirt and put pressure on the wounds." Gibbs looked at Tony's face. It was extremely pale with blood running from his mouth. Gibbs sat in behind Tony and tilted his torso up so that he could get under and prop Tony up from the floor. Tony's eye's opened.

"Tony! Tony can you hear me?"

"I can hear you Boss." Tony said the words but no sound came out. He felt so tired.

"Tony? Tony! You will not die, do you hear me? Tony? I need you to stay with me!" Tony could feel himself passing out in his Boss' arms. It was a nice feeling to be in the arms of family. Tony really hadn't had much of that growing up. His mother died when he was about ten. By the age of twelve, his father had disowned him and he was sent to Boarding School so he didn't interact with his family throughout the year. Gibbs voice broke through Tony's trail of thought.

"Tony! I know you can hear me! Wake up, Tony! You are stronger than this! You will fight! You got that DiNozzo!" With that last line, Tony felt a light tap on the top of his head. Tony smiled. Even if he was dying, Gibbs still managed to give him a head slap. Hell, Gibbs would probably be asked to be buried beside him so that he could give him head slaps for the rest of eternity. This made Tony laugh and then he wished he hadn't.

Gibbs' sigh of relief was barely audible but was still there. He had to wonder what his Senior Field Agent – his eldest son – was thinking about to make him laugh but it was just good to hear that sound come out of Tony.

"I got ya Boss!" Tony struggled to say as he tried to nod his head to let Gibbs know that he was going to fight.

"The Paramedics are on their way. You hang in there, you got me? I've got your six! You look after everything else!" With that, Tony fell asleep to the sound of distant sirens.


	2. Chapter 2

_**disclaimer: refer to first chapter. **_

_**A/N: I was surprised at the response I got to this story. Thankyou all so much for reviewing and adding the alerts. I am hugging you all in my mind :D**_

* * *

"Where is he? They said they were sending him here! I've got to see him! Is he alright? Will..."

"Ma'am!" The Head Nurse yelled from behind the desk! "Only family is allowed to see him and I don't see any family resemblance," she stated as she took in the view of NCIS' forensic scientist. She was tall, aided by the 3 inch chunky docs she had on, knee high and laced up. Her black skirt helped the illusion displaying fish-netted legs and a cute nurse imitation shirt only it was black with a red tie rather than the usual white shirt. The picture of worry was framed by the mass of black hair held in two pig tails. Miss Abigail Scuito, or Abby as everyone affectionately called her, was not leaving this position until she was able to see Tony, her work "big-brother".

Gibbs strolled out of the corridor at that particular moment, his shirt still covered with Tony's blood. Abby went pale at the sight of so much blood.

"Gibbs, Timmy told me that Tony had been shot?" which was more of a question than a statement.

Gibbs turned to the head nurse and glanced in her direction as he took Abby around the shoulders and led her towards the waiting room where other grieving families were waiting to hear news of loved ones. Once they were out of ear shot, Gibbs, looking a little more pale than usual, and looking like he had aged a decade in less than an hour, informed Abby that he was still in surgery and they hadn't heard anything. Abby hugged the ex-marine and he embraced it, more for the foreboding he felt rather than for her sanity. Gibbs opened his mouth to say something but stopped when he realised what were to happen if he told Abby the truth about what had happened on the field. He led Abby over to where a very uncomfortable looking Ziva had her head resting on the armrest of the hard hospital chairs, snoring slightly because of the angle of her head.

* * *

After a short while, Gibbs allowed himself some rest, hardly sleeping soundly but shutting his eyes against the artificial lights that surrounded him. He saw through dusty windows and there was the back of a dark-haired man standing in front of him. He had his gun positioned in the man's back and then all he felt was pain in his chest as he saw his own face from a distance as he collapsed into silence.

Gibbs woke with a start. Gathering his bearings and remembering where he was and why he was there, he jumped up to come face to face with a doctor in blue scrubs, wearing a mask around his neck and a skull cap to hide his hair.

"Are you the next of kin of Anthony DiNozzo?" Gibbs suddenly felt the presence of his entire team behind him, including Ducky whom had obviously snuck into the waiting room while Gibbs was dozing.

"Yeah, I'm his father." Gibbs replied proudly, however solemnly.

The doctor proceeded to tell them that Tony had survived the surgery. However, the bullets had done a fair bit of damage. Two had entered his lungs and the third had lodged in the muscles above his heart, freakishly having been stopped by one single rib and halted millimetres from where his heart sat. Gibbs had to sit down as the doctor told him the last part. On top of that he had lost a lot of blood. The doctor told the team that they had to put Tony into a medically induced coma to allow his lungs to heal because they had suffered the most damage. Also, because of his medical history involving acute pneumonia from exposure to the pneumonic plague about fours years prior his heart could shut down because of all the extra work it was doing. The doctor warned them to be prepared for the sight of Tony, given that there were about six separate machines monitoring and keeping him alive.

Everyone slowly trundled their way into see Tony. Ziva went in first followed by Timothy and Abby. Gibbs went to walk in after them but was taken aback by the sight even though they had been warned by the doctor that he was hooked up to nearly every contraption the hospital had that could keep Tony alive. He went to walk in again but couldn't move. Ducky turned to Jethro asked a question with his eyes. "Go in Duck. I won't be far behind."

Gibbs stared at his co-worker. He looked so frail with all those machines running in and out of his body. He had been incubated to try to help him breathe and there was a heart monitor displaying a weak but visible heart beat. That was comforting to know however Gibbs couldn't shake the guilt that plagued him as he stared at Tony. Gibbs shut his eyes trying to think if he remembered correctly. Had he really been the reason that Tony lay in the hospital fighting for his life? Gibbs replayed that moment over and over in his head. He shot the gunman and Tony had been behind him, his faulty vest having never been replaced. Gibbs shot the assailant but at the same time, he had shot Tony. He had shot Tony!

Gibbs walked away from Tony's room in a state of shock of what he had just realised. He had shot Tony. Tony was fighting for his life because of him. Gibbs walked out of the hospital feeling as though he should not be in the same state as a person that he almost got killed, someone that didn't deserve that. An image flashed through his mind – He was driving a car that crashed into two female occupants. One was a lady with long, flowing red hair. The other was a young girl, the spitting image of her mother. He drove into the car they were driving and he didn't stop. He drove to the rooftop of an adjacent building to the warehouse. He set up his snipers rifle and shot a full metal jacket through the skull of Kate. Then he saw a shot ring out and there Tony stood, with blood pouring out of him and he couldn't make it stop! He couldn't make the pain go away!

* * *

Abby, Ducky, Ziva and Tim had all left Tony's hospital room looking for Gibbs.

"Where did he disappear off to?" Ducky asked, wiping his glasses clean after they had fogged up from seeing Tony in the state that he was in.

"Maybe he has just gone to get coffee?" Ziva suggested with a look at Tim, knowing full well that was not the reason that Gibbs may have left the hospital.

"Yeah that would be more than likely. He hasn't had one since we left the office this morning." Tim agreed, seeing the image of Tony flash through his mind as he gave the lopsided smile before he collapsed. McGee and Ziva had been discussing it on the way to the hospital. Tony fell to the ground after the terrorist. They couldn't believe that Tony had been that stupid, or that Gibbs' shot had had that much power to shoot through one person and into another. If anything, it was a freakish accident. But Gibbs would not see it that way and they knew it. They knew he needed some bourbon, not coffee to see him through this and with that thought, Ziva and McGee left the hospital knowing full well where Gibbs was headed.

* * *

Gibbs had headed back to NCIS headquarters. He had to get an investigation open regarding the days events. Gibbs sat at his computer. He stared at the cursor on the screen which was waiting to respond to the motion of his fingers but nothing happened. Instead, he found a blank piece of paper and a pen and started writing a formal letter. This letter held no apology but displayed a lot of shame. Simply put, the letter read:

_ATTN: Director of NCIS, Leon Vance_

_I am informing you of my resignation_

_Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs_

Gibbs finished the letter off by signing his name. He then folded the piece of paper into three, placed it in an envelope and wrote Vance's name on the front. Just as he hit the bottom of the stairs leading up towards Vance's office, Gibbs' phone rang. On the other end of the line was an extremely upset and frantic Abby.

"Abby, what's wrong?" Gibbs asked through a worried expression

"Gibbs, Gibbs, Gibbs, Gibbs, Gibbs! Tony just stopped breathing! He stopped breathing and his heart stopped! They pushed me out of his room Gibbs! They won't tell me... hang on! Where are you taking him? What, where... beep, beep, beep, beep..."

"Abby, ABBY!" Gibbs yelled down the receiver but to no avail. He tried ringing her back but all he got was an engaged signal. He had a thought to ring Ducky.

"Jethro, what can I do to help you?"

"Are you with Abby, Duck?"

"No, sorry Jethro, I'm not. I had to leave her at the hospital with Tony so as to come see my mother at the nursing home. She's been quite ill of late, you know..."

"How long will it take you to get to the hospital?"

"I don't know, probably about twenty minutes. Why, Jethro? Has something happened to young Anthony?"

"I don't know yet, Duck! Just meet me there!" and with that Gibbs hung up the phone and ran down the stairs to the parking garage, jumped in his car and hoped to all hopes that Tony was still alive when he reached the hospital. As the engine roared, people long gone filled his thoughts; Kate, Paula, Jenny, Shannon, thoughts of Kelly. He was not going to bury Tony. Gibbs announced to the world that he was not going to bury another child! With that promise, he pushed his foot to the floor of the Mustang and sped off towards Bethesda.

Upstairs in the NCIS building, Director Vance had come down to see how Gibbs and his team were coping having DiNozzo in the hospital seriously injured. He looked around for Gibbs but couldn't see him. Thinking he may be at the hospital still, Vance headed down towards Gibbs' desk to leave a note for him to see him when he got in. At the bottom of the stairs, however, Vance noticed an envelope in Gibbs' handwriting addressed to him.

* * *

_** Yes I agree with you all... I am evil, review and let me know how evil you really think I am ;)**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**disclaimer: the usual**_

_**A/N: you guys seem to be very lucky - I can't seem to put this one down. I thought I'd let it drag out a bit seeing as there are so many people enjoying it. Thankyou all for your kind words. **_

_**Also with this one, I felt that we weren't getting enough interaction with Ziva, Tim and Abby. I thought I didn't do too badly, I hope you'll let me know if you disagree :D Thanks in advance!  
**_

* * *

Ziva and McGee were surprised to find that Gibbs was not at home. They were sure that sanding his boat and drinking his bourbon was going to help him drive the angst of Tony away. Alas, they were wrong and they did not have a clue as to his whereabouts.

"Maybe he went back into the office?" Ziva asked with a hint of worry in her voice.

"Maybe..." Tim trailed off as he concentrated on the road. McGee had insisted that he drive. He felt he was doing a favour to Gibbs sanity by making sure that his life was not put in danger by Ziva's driving ability. Convincing the Moussad Officer, however, was definitely one of the more brave things that he had ever done.

Tim's train of thought was interrupted by the ringing of Ziva's phone. He was to hazard a guess as to which of the three possible people were on the opposite end of the line. McGee stole a questioning glance over to Ziva as she spoke whilst trying to also remain focussed on the road. Rain had started to fall.

"Aha...? Yes..." Anxiousness had started to creep into Ziva's voice. "Yes, yes... he is with me, she said as she looked across in Tim's direction.

"We will be there as soon as we can," and with that Ziva snapped her phone shut.

After redirecting the car back towards the hospital on Ziva's orders, and a minute of silence had passed between them, Tim looked in Ziva's direction. He could see that she was struggling to hold back her tears. Ziva was trying to compose herself before telling Tim the news.

* * *

Gibbs nearly forgot to turn off the car's engine once he had found a parking spot in the hospital's car park. He was frustrated because he still couldn't get hold of Abby. Running across the parking lot towards the stairs that graced the entrance to Bethesda, Gibbs heard a screech of brakes, the squeal of tires sliding across dampened asphalt and the long, drawn out call of a car's horn. Gibbs saw the headlights of Ducky's vintage Morgan stop just centimetres from where he was standing.

"Are you trying to get us all killed, Jethro?" A familiar voice cut through the darkness behind the blaring high beam of the car.

"Sorry Duck. Wasn't watching what I was doing. Go park and I'll go inside and try to find Abby."

Gibbs ran up the stairs taking three at a time, racing to get to Abby faster. His heart was running a mile a minute and a thin layer of sweat had formed on his brow. He needed to know what was happening with Tony. He needed more information. He also needed to know why Abby wasn't answering her damn phone!

Gibbs ran through the main foyer towards the emergency department.

"Please Sir, slow down..." The voice of the concerned nurse trailed off as he ran faster, keeping his eyes open for any sight of Abby.

She was nowhere to be seen once Gibbs had reached the emergency ward. Stopping for a moment to catch his breath, Gibbs heard a feint whimpering coming from behind the door of the janitor's closet. Gibbs opened the door to find Abby with her legs brought up to her chest, hugging them, rocking gently as she cried into her knees.

"Abby?" Gibbs touched the top of her head to let her know he was there and to try and soothe the heartache of the usually happy-go-lucky youngest daughter of his.

"Oh Gibbs..." she managed to stammer through the tears pouring down her cheeks dragging her thick eyeliner with it. Her eyes were immensely red as though she had been crying since he couldn't get hold of her again.

"Abby?" Gibbs tried again. "What's happened?" Gibbs slid down the wall and placed his arm around her as she tried to calm down so she could explain to her Dad all the things that were happening to her older brother. After a couple of minutes, Abby was settled enough to structure sentences between sobs.

"They had to take Tony back in for another operation." Gibbs face drained of its colour.

"The doctor was explaining that they had left the two bullets in his lungs to keep the bleeding at a minimal pace. They said that Tony had been too weak from blood loss when they first brought him in so as to give him a better shot at survival, they only removed the main concern, the bullet near his heart."

"Did you tell them that we needed the bullets for our investigation?"

"Yeah I did. But when Ziva and Timmy had left to find you and Ducky had to leave to go and see his mother, Tony's heart monitor started alarming and I called a nurse and he, and he..." Abby was shaking from the strength of her sobbing. Gibbs hugged her tighter towards him to try and help her calm down.

"Shh Abby. It's ok?" He gently stroked her arm to reassure her that she was not alone in the turmoil.

"The doctor was explaining that one of the bullets that they left in his lung had started to move through the muscle and it has actually now nicked his heart. Gibbs, they're saying that he's not going to make it!" and with that Abby burst out into a new round of tears.

Gibbs pulled Abs into a tighter hug and just let her sob into the panel of his jacket. Tears were stinging his eyes. Thoughts of Tony on that surgical table, his chest open and exposed to the hospital staff, stung his heart. What had he done?

Tim and Ziva ran through the doors of the emergency room just behind Ducky. Ziva's eyes were bloodshot and puffy. Obviously, Abby had got in touch with them to tell them what had been happening.

* * *

Somewhere far from the hospital, Tony sat alone on a park bench. In front of him was a road. To his right he could hear sobbing and crying. To his left, there was no sound, just a feeling of calmness. No cars drove on the road. It was just Tony, no one else. Tony felt the urge to stand up and he did. He looked towards where the sound of heartache was coming from. He chose to head in the opposite direction.

Tony took one step. A manufactured heart beat reverberated throughout his little space. He took another step, another heart beat. The more steps he took, the faster the heart beat went until he stopped. In the distance he noticed three very familiar faces. All three were women and Tony flashed his charismatic grin. The grin, however disappeared when he realised who the three women were. The first was an older lady, not much older than he himself was but still older. Her hair was grey and her stance was proud. He looked into her eyes and he saw his own looking back. Tony was looking into the face of his mother that had died so many years ago.

Next to the first woman, a second woman stood – stoic and beautiful. Her hair was long and brown, just the way he remembered it. He had loved it when she wore it out. It made her exude beauty. God, he missed her. He walked up to her and she was significantly shorter than he was. She had a look on her face that suggested that she was going to do something to him. Tony noticed the mortuary putty that was still covering the hole in her forehead. Tony then realised, God he had missed Kate.

The third woman grinned as he acknowledged her. Her beaming smile covered all of her face and moved her ears into the short, spiky haircut she had. She looked a lot better than the last time he had seen her. At least now, she seems healthy and not covered in the pool of blood he had found her in. Jenny took the sight of him in and smiled.

In the operating theatre, doctors and nurses were scrambling as the heart monitor attached to Mr. DiNozzo's heart beat displayed his heart going into defibrillation. His heart was starting to give in.

Outside in the waiting room, Tony's team mates, his family were huddled together. They all hugged in a tight group. The five people stood in a circle, holding hands and praying with all their might that their beloved Tony would come back to them.

**_What do you think??_**


	4. Chapter 4

_**disclaimer: do you really need another one?? You know what this is all about**_

_**A/N because you have all been so generous with your comment and your adding and the like, I've tried to give you a longer chapter for your troubles. Please let me know what you think because I had a lot of trouble with this one and I don't think it fits very well but please, don't hesitate to let me know if it sucks - just tell me in a nice way :D  
**_

* * *

The elevator at NCIS headquarters pinged as it reached the third floor. The elevator doors slid open to expose an extremely exhausted and weary Gibbs. The last twenty-four hours had been hell but there was nothing they could do at the moment. Gibbs had told everyone on his team to go home and get some rest. Even he had tried but to no avail. He decided he may as well come in the office as staring at the ceiling of his basement was not helping him any. So, he thought, he may as well come in and at least feel like he was doing something to help Tony. He stared across the empty bullpen to the desk that sat diagonally opposite his. He grinned sadly as he thought of moments in which the younger man had caused havoc but kept the office a light-hearted and enjoyable place to work. He grinned again, wiped the tear that was forming and decided to get into his work.

* * *

It was now 05:00 hours when the sound of the elevator doors opened and Ziva walked out. She had black circles under her eyes and her eyes were still puffy. Obviously she had cried herself to sleep even it had been a meagre two hours. At least she could help Gibbs with sorting out this mess.

The elevator door pinged again as a third person emerged. McGee slipped into the hallway and dragged himself over to his desk. Tim's hair was dishevelled and he was wearing the clothes that he had been sent home in, although given his state of dress it was highly unlikely that he had actually made it there. Tim gave Gibbs a defeated smile and started to explain himself but Gibbs simply just nodded and turned back to his computer screen. He saw Tim head for the filing cabinet that was positioned between his and Tony's desks. Tim pulled out a clean shirt from the bottom draw and stood there, just staring at it. It seemed as though he was debating to wear one of Tony's shirts without permission. He looked towards Gibbs, his eyes threatening to release the sadness and Gibbs just nodded.

"I think he would understand given the circumstances, Tim," Gibbs responded and the younger man seemed to smile a bit and he changed his shirt to start afresh his morning.

After about an hour, Gibbs went for a coffee run. Before he headed down the street to get one though, Gibbs stopped in autopsy, not surprised to find that Ducky was already in the middle of doing the autopsy on the terrorist that Gibbs had shot. That had been the reason that Ducky had taken that much longer to get to the hospital than Abby. With Palmer on annual leave, Ducky had to collect the body by himself and log it for the chain of evidence so as not to make a faux par in the investigation that they had to open. Ducky was just about to slice into the cadaver of their visitor when he had heard Gibbs walk through the doors and into his parlour.

"Ah Jethro, I thought you would be here already."

"What you got for me, Duck?"

"Well nothing yet. I was just about to start the first cut and I haven't got the x-rays back from the lab. The minute I know something, Jethro, you will. Unless there was something else that was bothering you?" Ducky looked knowingly into his friends eyes and saw the sadness behind them. Ducky knew as well as anybody, however, that Gibbs did not let secrets out that easily. If only Duck knew the truth as to why Tony was in the hospital fighting for his life. There was still an investigation open regarding the contents of the warehouse that they had stormed yesterday. Gibbs tried to erase the memory of yesterday from his mind, but he seemed to be failing miserably.

Gibbs looked at Ducky and smiled. "I'll pick up those films for you Duck. I was just heading across to the lab to see if Abby was in yet or not," and with that Gibbs strolled back out the door.

* * *

Abby's lab was quiet and the lights were off. That was unusual, Gibbs thought. Normally Abby would be all over this. He was hoping that she did actually go home when he had ordered her to but he had a feeling that she may not have. He picked up his cell and typed in Abby's number without having to think about it. All Gibbs got was an engaged signal. He was going to buy that girl a new phone.

Just as he was about to leave, Gibbs turned around to see Abby in the doorway. She was looking pretty happy which actually surprised Gibbs.

"Morning, Gibbs! How you doing?"

"Abby?" Gibbs eyes continued the rest of the question towards her.

"No more negative thoughts Gibbs! There will be no more negative thoughts. I was thinking that someone must have been thinking very negatively yesterday..." Gibbs thought of the letter he had written, eyes wide open at the fact that it was no longer on his desk. He walked out while Abby was still talking.

Gibbs had forgotten all about his coffee. He took the lift back up to the bullpen and went to his desk and started sifting through all the paper work that was piled near it. He looked under his desk, through his draws and even lifted up his computer in the hope that it had slipped under it.

"What you looking for, Boss?" Tim's voice broke his concentration. He looked up to see Tim staring in his direction with one eyebrow cocked in question.

"Have you and Ziva identified our corpse yet?"

"Still working on it..."

Gibbs strolled across the floor towards the base of the stairs that would direct him up to Vance's office. He froze, remembering the night before as the phone call from Abby came through concerning Tony, the letter had slipped out of his grasp. He looked around frantically for it and could see out of the corner of his eye that Ziva and Tim were watching his every move now. Gibbs looked in their direction and the pair were quick to react, trying to make it look like they were discussing something on Ziva's computer, the way DiNozzo always seemed to do. He smiled at the thought of Tony back in the office. That feeling faded quickly as he remembered his eyes at the warehouse. He shook his head slightly to remove the image. When he came to his senses, Gibbs frustrated that he couldn't locate the letter, stood up and came face to face with Director Vance. Vance was staring as well. Gibbs wished people would stop staring at him. He wasn't in the mood for Vance. He hadn't had his coffee yet.

"Morning, Leon," Gibbs said, acknowledging the fact that his superior was looking at him.

"How's DiNozzo doing? Any word yet?" Gibbs just shook his head in reply.

"DiNozzo was a good agent."

"He _IS _a good agent," Gibbs corrected.

"Yes, sorry, my mistake. I need to see you up in my office Agent Gibbs."

"That an order, Leon?"

"Yes it is."

Vance led the way up the stairs and Gibbs followed in his wake. Once Gibbs entered and shut the door behind himself, he turned around to find Vance already seated at his desk and holding a familiar envelope with even more familiar handwriting. Gibbs opened his mouth to speak but Vance beat him to the punch.

"I came to see you last night. You must have left in a hurry."

"Stop beating around the bush, Leon."

"You obviously know what this is?" Gibbs nodded slightly and took a seat.

"I refuse to accept it." Gibbs breathed a sigh of relief. "Should you consider doing it again, however...?"

"I'm good. I will not give you any more resignations without serious thought first." Gibbs shot Vance a slight smile, stood up and walked out his office.

"Agent Gibbs?"

"Leon?"

"I hope DiNozzo makes it through this." Vance held a look of sincerity on his face.

"He will, Leon. If he doesn't, he'll have me to answer to." Gibbs smiled to himself and walked out of Vance's office and down the stairs to continue with his investigation.

* * *

Ziva and Tim had watched Gibbs as he exited Vance's office. Gibbs seemed a lot more focused than he had a few minutes ago.

"Maybe Gibbs has got hold of some coffee while he was in Vance's office," McGee murmured mainly to himself but Ziva had heard his remark and smiled. Tony would have smiled at that one too. The smile disappeared from Ziva's face.

Gibbs headed straight for his desk and sat down. He had to be focused on this case. It seemed important somehow. A wave of exhaustion hit Gibbs like a speeding bullet. He realised that he still hadn't got his coffee. Gibbs stood up and headed towards the elevator mumbling something about getting coffee. Ziva looked over to Tim with a confused look in her eyes considering Gibbs had said that same statement not fifteen minutes prior. Tim just figured that the stress of Tony's condition was getting to him. Gibbs, however, just really needed his coffee.

* * *

Halfway between the second and first floors, Gibbs' phone rang.

"Gibbs"

"Hello Mr. Gibbs. This is Doctor Turner. I'm looking to speak to the next of kin of a Mr. Anthony DiNozzo."

"That would be me," Gibbs replied, anxious to hear any news about Tony.

"Ok then, well, he has survived the second surgery. I was actually ringing this number because I was told that you guys needed the bullets because of the situation. I was wondering if someone could come down and get them."

"I'll come get them. And Tony? How is he?"

"Well the next forty-eight hours are crucial. If Mr. DiNozzo fails to wake up..."

"He'll die?" Gibbs finished.

"He has suffered a great deal of tissue damage to both his heart and his lungs. We've repaired most of the damage but he is still not breathing on his own and his life signs are extremely weak."

Gibbs swallowed hard as he stood in silence listening to the doctor's words. Tony may still die. He may still have to bury another one. He remembered Kelly's coffin and how it had nearly broken him having to bury his child. Tony was his eldest boy. Gibbs was going to keep his promise. He was not going to let this happen again, not to him, not to the rest of them.

"What odds are we looking at, Doc?"

"Are you a betting man Mr. Gibbs?"

"I can honestly say, Doc, that I have never placed a bet in my life but I have witnessed slim chances come through in my time." Gibbs mind thought back to when Tony had the plague. His chances were better than now but still, he believed that Tony was a good one to back. "What are our odds of Tony coming through this?" He asked the question simply so he knew where they stood.

"I would say your odds are sitting at about 1000 to 1. I can honestly say that I have only ever seen one person come back fro m the position he is in and they had nowhere near as much damage as Mr. DiNozzo has suffered." Gibbs heart fell as a twinge of guilt mixed with the realisation that Tony may not wake up hit home.

"If you were a betting man, Mr. Gibbs, I would be telling you to save your money for a rainy day."

Gibbs thanked the doctor, closing by saying that he would be over soon to pick the bullets up.

Gibbs smiled. Despite what the doctor had said, Gibbs would place his money on DiNozzo every time.

* * *

_**A/N the conversation about odds was a conversation that my cousins had about four weeks ago when my brother was admitted to hospital with end stage liver failure among other things. One of my cousins is a 5th year intern and my other cousin has won some amazing money on the gigi's. My cousin(the doctor) gave my other cousin (the betting man) odds that my brother would live through the next six weeks at 500:1.**_


	5. Chapter 5

**_disclaimer: do you honestly think I'm rich enough to own any of these characters. Believe me, I wish I did :D_**

_**A/N Sorry about the wait. My net has been capped so I've had no speed whatsoever due to finishing the download I was completing. Also I've had a touch of writers block. this chapter has been started 3 different times. I'm finally happy with it :D Hope you enjoy. let me know what you think by R&R-ing :D Thanks**_

* * *

"McGee?"

"Yes Ziva?" The agent did not even look across the room in reply to the question.

"Have you noticed anything...strange?"

Tim paused for a moment as he stared across the office space they called the bullpen. He noticed that Tony's desk was vacant. A look of dismay played across Tim's face as he made the connection as to why Tony's desk was vacant but consciously made to quickly erase the negative thought from his mind. Directly opposite Tony's desk sat Ziva at hers. She was looking at him waiting for his answer. On the massive plasma that sat in the middle of the room a picture of the dead guy in autopsy was displayed. It had all of his personal information listed beside the picture including his links to the warehouse that the team had stormed over twenty-four hours ago. Directly opposite his desk Gibbs desk sat. It was tidy and organised but vacant.

"Gibbs still isn't back?" he asked, more as an observation rather than the query it was formatted in.

"Exactly McGee and that is strange yes?"

"Well yes, I suppose it is strange. He has been gone an awfully long time for coffee." An unnerving feeling started to form in the pit of his stomach. "Maybe he went home to get his head together regarding the case?"

"During the middle of the day! While we are in the middle of a case no less, McGee?"

"Well, this is not exactly a normal case, Ziva. Gibbs did shoot Tony."

"We do not know that for sure. Just because Tony collapsed at the same time as this terrorist, as this," Ziva pointed in the direction of the plasma."As this Hussein Islam, does not mean that Gibbs shot Tony. It just means that... I do not know what it means! All I know is that Gibbs left for coffee over two hours ago and he is still nowhere to be seen which in my opinion is hinky."

Ziva stood over Tim as she finished talking. In unison, they both glanced over towards the direction of the elevator, hoping that any moment now it would open to reveal an unharmed and unbroken Gibbs.

* * *

Abby was in her lab waiting for Gibbs to arrive but he never came. She had news to give him and she was running on empty. She really needed her third Caf-Pow for the morning and Gibbs was meant to bring one with him. He promised. After fifteen minutes she began to wonder where he was. She had seen him about two hours ago when he had come in and gave her the bullets that were removed from Tony's chest. She had looked at the pieces of metal for what seemed like ages wondering how something so small could take away something that is so precious. After she had cleared her head of the thought, she started working on identifying the gun that had shot them. The results were in and she needed to desperately speak to Gibbs to explain the results. They couldn't be true. They didn't make any sense. She had a thought to try Gibbs at the bullpen but was disappointed when Ziva answered Gibbs' extension. Where could have Gibbs gone, Abby thought. It was not like him to leave the office in the middle of the day, let alone in the middle of an unsolved case. Abby had a thought to call Ducky.

"Ducky? Have you seen Gibbs today?"

Ah, Abigail. I have seen Jethro but not for some time. He had come down earlier this morning just as I was starting the autopsy on our dear friend here. I have not seen him for probably well over three hours I'm sorry." Abby frowned at the lack of news. "Why do you ask, my dear?"

"It seems I was the last person to see him Ducky and that was over two hours ago. I've tried his cell and he's not answering. I have news for him Ducky and it's not like him to not show when I have news. I think he feels responsible for Tony. I'm worried about him Ducky."

"Don't worry Abigail. Gibbs probably just needs some time to think. It is not easy for any of us to do what we are doing while young Anthony is in the hospital but I think Jethro has deemed it his fault for Tony's demise. Maybe he just went home to clear his head."

"But in the middle of the day? Gibbs would never do that _especially_ with Tony in the hospital. He just wouldn't!" At that moment Abby had a thought.

"Ducky, I got to go," and swiftly she disconnected the call to the medical examiner.

Abby ran into her office and punched in the numbers that would connect her to the hospital. She thought it was definitely a bad thing when you know a hospital's phone number off the top of your head.

"Good Morning. How may I direct your call?"

"Intensive care please?" Abby was subconsciously biting her nails while the phone call was being diverted. A professional sounding voice broke the silence on the other end.

"Hi, my name's Abby Sciuto and I'm looking to speak to a special agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs please. Is he in visiting with agent Anthony DiNozzo?"

"Sorry Ma'am but Agent DiNozzo has had no visitors since early this morning."

"Oh, um, ok then. Thank you," and with that Abby hung up her receiver. Gibbs had disappeared. First Tony, now Gibbs. This was not turning into a good week. Her family had had to make it through this.

* * *

Gibbs looked quickly at his phone as he noticed that there was no reception in the area he was. He had returned to the scene of the fire fight that had seemed to happen so long ago. So much had changed in such a short time. It was Kate all over again. Maybe if he had let Ari kill him or if he had stayed in Mexico this wouldn't have happened. Tony would not be in a hospital bed fighting for his life. Tony would be alive and unharmed. Tony would ... his thoughts trailed off as he looking through the window where he had stood only twenty-four hours prior. He couldn't wipe the thought of the look Tony had as he collapsed from his gunshot. He thought he would be able to handle this better but he wasn't. He was falling to pieces and so was Tony and it was his entire fault. Tony wasn't just like a son, damn it, Tony _was_ his son, maybe not through blood but Tony was the closest thing he ever had to a son. He had shot his son. Gibbs had to get in his car and drive. He would get Ziva and Tim to come out here and take photos for him. He just couldn't do it. There was only one place he needed to be.

* * *

Tim jumped as the vibration of his phone melted through his pocket. He picked it up to see displayed across the screen a name he had wanted to see for a while now.

"Yeah Boss?" Ziva's head jolted upwards at the sound of contact being made.

"Anything Boss... ah-huh... mmmmm... ok... we will get right on that... yes, um, yeah ok. Boss?" There was silence. McGee then sounded with a "take care of yourself Boss. We'll sort it out," and with that he flipped his phone closed to hang up on the caller.

"Well...?" Ziva stared across at her friend waiting for answers to the question that she did not have to ask.

"We have to go back out to the warehouse and take photos. We're doing the case on our own."

Ziva glanced at Tim straining her ears as though she had not heard what McGee had just said. At that moment, Director Vance started down the stairs from his office towards the bullpen.

"So, David, McGee, what have we got?"

Tim and Ziva looked to each other and then to Vance. It looked like they were taking the lead from a different leader today. Neither of them knew what to say.

* * *

Tony was sitting on his park bench. It was all very quiet and very still. All he could hear was the sound of his heart beat but it was too high pitched to be his real heart. It sounded like a machine. His mother, Kate and Jenny were still standing to the left of him. They were there in silence but he knew they were there. On his right, it seemed quiet. It was quiet. There was nothing to the right of him. Just his heart beat was all he could hear. Tony looked at the women that had such a significant impact on his life, the ones that he had let down. The ones he couldn't save. The ones he tried to save were nowhere in sight. Ducky, Probie, Abs, Zee-vah, weren't there. Maybe he wasn't worth waiting on. What about Gibbs. He had at least seen all the others. He hadn't seen Gibbs. Was he that much of a failure that even the closest thing to a father couldn't even show up to see him? Maybe the head slaps weren't the signs of affection he took them for. Maybe they were representations of the way Gibbs treated the people he hated. Tony laughed. He was kidding himself. Gibbs liked him, didn't he? Tony thought to himself, what if I am the screw up that my real father told me I was. My real father isn't here and neither is Gibbs. Neither is Gibbs.

* * *

Gibbs stood at the doorway to Tony's hospital room. He was watching the rhythm of Tony's heartbeat. It was sitting at a steady pace, one beat per second roughly. Suddenly, the rhythm changed into a more frantic one and Gibbs stood in shock as nurses and doctors ploughed through the doors of Tony's room as his heart rate went higher and higher. Gibbs felt helpless. How could he have done this? What was he going to do if he buried Tony? He couldn't do it again. This would break him. There would be nothing left for him. This time he would pull his own trigger. This time there would be no coming back. This time, he would not be hurting again.

* * *

_**addendum: Thankyou all for your concern for my brother. It is very touching that you all care. I feel loved :D Just to let you all know, he is out of hospital and celebrated his 39th Birthday on Wednesday. **_


	6. Chapter 6

"CLEAR!"

Ka-thump. An elongated high-pitched alarm resonated from Tony's heart monitor.

"Charge to three-sixty," the doctor yelled at the nurse that stood over the defibrillator that was attached to the electrodes that were sending shock waves through Tony's body.

"But Doctor...!"

"No buts Helen! Charge to three-sixty! Now!" The machine let out a quick whirr as it charged to the full amount.

Ka-thump! Tony's body jumped as the jolt pierced through his body trying to restart his heart. Gibbs couldn't take his eyes off the scene. He witnessed every motion that the medical team pulled in order to restart Tony's heart. He felt helpless as he stood stoically, peering through the striped pane of frosted and clear glass. He could not believe what was happening.

"C'mon DiNozzo! You can pull through this! Fight!"

A monotonous, high-pitched drawn out beep permeated through the doorway that Gibbs was standing next to as he heard the doctor slowly announce time of death and the nurses pulling the sheet that covered Tony's bed over his face.

"DiNozzo! Anthony! TONY!" Gibbs yelled through the pane of glass at the man he considered his son!

"Wake up Tony! DINOZZO!"

Tears were threatening to fall down his cheeks but he would not let them!

"This can't be happening! This is not happening!" Gibbs kept repeating in some sort of mantra-like manner. The medical staff left Tony's room and Gibbs ran through the door towards Tony's lifeless body.

"I'm sorry Tony! I never meant for this to happen! You were my son. You know that right? You were precious to me! I didn't mean for this to happen!" Gibbs was pounding on Tony's chest! He lifted his hand in front of his eyes. They were covered in blood. He looked back down and saw Tony covered in blood from three gunshot wounds. He was holding pressure to the wound.

Gibbs opened his eyes. He blinked his eyes several times to focus on the man lying unconscious in the bed next to where he was sitting. He looked at all the monitors and gadgets keeping his agent alive. Tony was still alive. Gibbs breathed a sigh of relief. He didn't remember dozing off. He did remember however talking to the doctor after they had got Tony's heart restarted.

"His heart has suffered a lot of trauma and it is trying its best to repair itself. Mr DiNozzo is definitely a fighter. However, in order for him to make it through this we need him to wake up and very soon. If he stays in the coma for any more than twelve more hours then his body functions will begin to shut down simply because there is no brain activity going on in his brain. If this happens we will have to discuss how you wish to proceed with his treatment." Gibbs hadn't believed what he was hearing. Essentially, if Tony didn't wake up soon, they were going to have to make the decision as to whether or not he and the rest of the team were going to terminate his treatment, basically ending his life. How was he supposed to tell the others? Abby would be devastated as would the rest of them but Abby would hurt the most. She and Tony had been friends for as long as he and Tony had been. Gibbs couldn't believe that he would have to inflict even more pain on his loved ones even after doing this to Tony. All this, of course was dependant on whether Tony woke up in the next twelve hours. If Tony didn't wake up, Gibbs had no idea how they, how he was going to cope.

Gibbs sat up straighter in his chair. He stared at Tony, only just noticing that his face looked weird without that ear to ear grin he had. Gibbs thought about all the times he had ignored Tony discussing movie quotes, comparing movie scenes to his every day life, generally annoying the crap out of anybody and everybody. Gibbs wished for that than nothing more in the entire world. Gibbs took a deep breath.

"Tony..." Gibbs stood up and moved closer to Tony's right ear so that he knew only he and Tony could hear what he was saying.

"Tony, you have to make it through this, you hear me? You are stronger than this. You can beat this. If there is anyone I know who will win this it's you. I'm backing you DiNozzo! You hear me? I am putting all my money on you! You have to pull through this. The rest of them wouldn't cope without you. I wouldn't..." Gibbs voice trailed off.

"Boss!" Tony yelled it at Gibbs but he didn't hear him. He tried again.

"BOSS!" Tony stared as he watched Gibbs get up and walk away, leaving him alone. "Gibbs!" He tried again to call him but to no avail. Tony couldn't believe that Gibbs just got up and left. Tony was devastated. Gibbs left him just like his real father had left him. His mother had left him, so had Jenny, Paula, and Kate. He was all alone, surrounded by darkness and the false, high-pitched sound of his own heart beat.

Gibbs just couldn't sit anymore. He couldn't stay and watch Tony die. He couldn't do anything to prevent it. He had to do something. Gibbs practically ran back to his car, letting the engine roar to life as he sped off in the direction of NCIS. Before he had got to the hospital over four hours ago he had rang Vance to explain that he needed to be at the hospital. He had also asked Vance to take the lead on the case with Ziva and Tim for him. Vance had no hesitation in complying with both requests.

Gibbs got to headquarters in record time, even for him, he thought to himself. He had decided to tell them what he had done. He had to tell them that he had been the one that shot Tony, that he was the reason Tony was fighting for his life. They all had a right to know he was the reason for the pain they were feeling.

Gibbs stormed into autopsy to find Ducky. Gibbs figured that Ducky would be the easiest to tell because they had been friends for so long now that Gibbs thought they were too old to find a new friendship like the one they had developed over the years. When he got to autopsy, however, Ducky was nowhere to be found. Gibbs stood in the silence of the room, surrounded by the stainless steel compartments, one of which he was sure, had he body of the assailant he had shot Tony through. Slightly annoyed that Dr. Mallard was nowhere in sight, Gibbs grabbed a piece of paper and a pen from Ducky's desk telling him to ring him as soon as he got in.

Feeling too impatient to wait around, Gibbs ran out of Ducky's office, bypassing the elevator and going straight up the stairs, taking three at a time. Once he reached the top and weaved his way over to the bullpen, he was disappointed to find that also Tim and Ziva were missing. Where the hell was everybody? Looking over the partition to the next section, Gibbs asked Special Agent Smith if he'd seen or heard anything about where McGee and David may be but all he got was, "Sorry Sir, I have no idea where they might be."

Mumbling thanks as he left looking for them, he ran towards interrogation thinking that they might be interviewing someone but there was no one there except for the tech guys and they hadn't seen anyone for a good hour. Not being to offer up any more information, Gibbs ran towards Abby's lab. If anyone knew where everyone was it was Abby. The problem with that plan was that Abby was missing as well. He couldn't believe it. Why did no one tell him what the hell was going on? He picked up his phone and dialled McGee. Once he held his phone to his ear there was no receiver on the other end, there wasn't even a dial tone. Gibbs couldn't believe he had been so stupid. While he was in with Tony, he had turned his phone off due to hospital policy. He had completely forgotten to switch it back on. Being as impatient as he was feeling, Gibbs just ran over and used Abby's office phone to call her.

"Abby?" he asked hoping he had called the right number.

"Gibbs! Where...you? Tony..."

"Abby, say again! You're coming in broken?"

"Gibbs! ...at...hospital. Tony..."

"What about Tony, Abby? ABBY?" and with that the line went dead.

Gibbs thought and tried all of his other team members with no success. And in even failing to get someone at the nurse's station, Gibbs gave up and flew out the door towards the hospital.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N I had initially planned for this chapter to be the last. However, after I had continued writing, I rewrote it and have ended up in a completely different direction to that which I had initially planned. I would like your feedback as to wether this has potential or wether you all want me to get rid of this and post the original that I had written - I think I need help with this one now.**

* * *

Once Gibbs, reached the hospital, he parked his car and ran through the now familiar passage to the ICU. There he found all of his team in the waiting room.

"Gibbs!" Abby ran towards the ex-marine and didn't hug him or anything. She just stood there glaring at him. He thought about glaring back at her but had thought better of it when he realised that she may probably know the truth about Tony.

"Where have you been?" She said in her best Gibbs imitation voice. She continued with "We've been here for over half an hour trying to get in touch with you? Why aren't you answering your phone?"

Gibbs held it up in the air and simply said "I turned it off Abs," and a look of shock resonated across her face. Gibbs never turned off his phone.

"Why would you do that Gibbs?" Abby asked as Gibbs realised he was addressing all of his team not just Abby. "I turned it off while I was up here visiting Tony as per hospital policy," he stated as he pointed to a sign asking patrons to turn off their phones.

"No one does that Gibbs; most people just put it onto silent."

"I put it onto silent. I turned it off." Abby whacked the man's head before she even had a second to realise what she had done.

The entire team just waited for the reaction from Gibbs. Surprisingly, he did nothing.

"Any news about Tony?" he asked ignoring what had just happened.

"They just called telling all of us to get down here as quickly as we could. They said the only person they were going to give any news to was you. They said they only deal with one representative of each family." Gibbs sighed as he noticed that he couldn't even go in and see Tony.

Gibbs shook his head and asked how the case was going.

"We got him." Ziva answered. With a look from Gibbs, Ziva continued her train of thought, "we got the man that shot Tony." Gibbs went visibly pale. What was she saying?

Tim interjected his thoughts. "You know how you thought you shot Tony?"

"Not helping McGee!"

"Right, well, you did shoot Tony."

"MCGEE!" Gibbs snapped.

"There was a second shooter."

"What? How?"

"When Ziva and I went back to the crime scene we noticed that there were three sections of blood. Two of them were reasonably large sections and then there was a third smaller section. Now the two larger pools were obvious. One was Tony's and the other was our dead guy, Hussein Islam, in autopsy."

Gibbs was nodding, encouraging Tim to continue.

"Well, we initially thought that the third pool belonged to Tony as he was getting carried out towards the ambulance but the blood came back negative for either our dead guy or for Tony."

Gibbs raised his head in realisation as to what Tim was saying. The first shot he had made with the rifle trying to cause a distraction for Tony. He had forgotten they had heard a scream. Also, thinking back – there was no one else in the room in the warehouse aside from Tony and the dead terrorist.

"You said that I did shoot Tony though, McGee."

"Hold on Boss, we're not done yet."

Ducky chimed in with the information he had gathered from the autopsy.

"On the man down in autopsy, my initial examination stated that the man was shot with three bullets which was true. However, when I did the x-rays I could only locate two of the bullets. Extracting them I sent them up to Abby to confirm my suspicions..." Abby continued with her information.

"We ended up with five slugs in total Gibbs. The three that you shot..."

"...And there were also the two bullets that the man in custody shot." Ziva finished.

Gibbs must have had a look of confusion across his face because Ducky stepped in and tried to explain it, hand gestures included.

"Ok, Jethro. You shot our dead guy three times hitting him here," pointing to the right side of his breast bone just next to the pectoral muscle, "Here," pointing to the area directly above his heart, "And here." The third shot, Ducky pointed at the soft skin under his arm. "The second shot was your kill shot Jethro. The third shot went through his arm, ricocheted off the humorus and landed in Anthony's chest above his heart."

"Your bullet was the bullet they pulled out during the first surgery, Gibbs," Abby explained.

"Ok, so I didn't kill him. How did the other shooter get two rounds into Tony without us hearing anything like a gun shot?" He asked pointing in the direction of Tim and Ziva as he spoke.

"Well, Boss. That's the interesting part. We did actually hear the gunshots but we didn't notice them."

"Ziva, would you help him?" Gibbs was growing more impatient.

"Yes, well, when we saw our dead guy fall and we saw Tony standing behind him, Tim and I realised that the other two shots had already been fired before we saw Tony."

"Go on," Gibbs stated through gritted teeth, merely as a sign of his impatience.

"Boss," McGee continued. "The shooter fired his shots at the same time you did. Because the rifle is significantly louder than a nine millimetre hand gun, we didn't notice it."

"So how did the last two bullets get into DiNozzo?" This was the final question Gibbs needed answering.

Ducky came back over. "Anthony had three bullets, two in his lungs and one above his heart that had been stopped by his rib. As Abigail has already pointed out, yours was the round that was above his heart. When your bullet ricocheted into Tony, the force pushed his left shoulder backwards from the force. Our shooter, who was still where you had shot him on the left side of the window, fired two more rounds into young Anthony with his left hand pushing Anthony to face the window towards you where you saw young Anthony collapse."

"Because of the positioning of Anthony's body and the fact that the shooter had used his left hand, the trajectory of his bullets went through the lung tissue before they would have got to the heart."

"That doesn't make Tony any more alive though, does it Duck?"

"No, I'm afraid not, Jethro."

At that moment, Doctor Turner walked through the door and looked at Gibbs.

"Good, you're all here. You can come in and see him now." And with that foreboding statement, Gibbs led the others down the hall towards Tony's room.

When they got there, all the tubes had been pulled out of Tony. The tube that was helping him breathe had been removed and Gibbs looked at the man he considered his son.

"Took your time, Boss," a harsh whisper escaped the lips of the man lying on the hospital bed, a massive grin across his face at the sight of Abby, Ducky, Tim and Ziva, all smiling back at him. They were all extremely happy to see him, all except one silver-haired marine. Tony swallowed hard as Leroy Jethro Gibbs became an ominous presence hovering above him while he lay in his hospital bed. Tony felt the need to suddenly sit up but was gently pushed back towards the bed by the firm hand of his team leader.

"Stay down!" Gibbs stated harshly, his piercing blue eyes penetrating through Tony's vivid hazel ones and into his soul. Gibbs felt the need to make sure this was reality.

"You in pain, DiNozzo?"

"Only when I talk or breathe, Boss. I haven't tried to do much else." Tony grinned towards Gibbs but it quickly disappeared once he got a glance in that stoic face.

Gibbs bent down so that his mouth was level with Tony's ears ensuring that the conversation stayed between just them.

"Pain is good, Tony. It means you're alive."

"That's easy for you to say." Tony winced as he breathed in. He was hoping the pain killers they had administered him would kick in soon.

"So," Tony continued with immense effort,"did we get the guy that did this to me?"

Not wanting to lie to Tony, Gibbs replied with "Only one of them DiNozzo," hoping that Tony would leave it that.

"There were two shooters? I was shot by two different people?" Tony's heart monitor started to speed up in response to the news. Gibbs didn't want to cause anymore stress to either Tony or his team so he suggested that maybe he and the rest of them should leave to let Tony rest. Tony grabbed Gibbs' shirt.

"Tell me you at least know who it is!" Tony was determined to get back at whoever it was that caused him so much pain, caused his family pain!

"It was..."Gibbs paused, wondering wether he should admit the truth so soon after getting Tony back. He started again, "It was me DiNozzo!"

Tony looked at Gibbs and laughed. "_You_ shot me?" He turned to the rest of the entourage and pointed towards Gibbs. "He thinks he shot me!" as he started to break out in laughter he noticed the looks on everybody else's face. Tony's head spun around toward Gibbs. "You _SHOT ME_??"

"Well, not exactly Tony."

"How do you not exactly shoot somebody Gibbs? You either do or you don't!" Tony's heart rate was causing the machine to alarm, "Did you not like me at all? Tell me Gibbs?"

Doctor Turner came running in.

"I need all of you to get out. Mr DiNozzo? Tony, I need you to calm down. Tony, you need to calm down." Tony was having trouble breathing. His chest hurt. Eventually the pain was too much and everything went dark.

Gibbs couldn't understand how it all went wrong. How did he not see this coming? What else did he expect? That Tony would take it gracefully in his stride? Well, yes, he had. Didn't Tony always react that way? How could he be so wrong about someone he thought he knew so well? Gibbs turned towards Ducky. Ducky looked back at Jethro, warmth in his eyes.

"I'll talk to him tomorrow for you. Best now we all go and get some sleep," Ducky reasoned. For the first time in forty-eight hours since this whole ordeal started, Gibbs felt that some sleep may be imminent.

There was nothing Gibbs could do for now.

* * *

**A/N I would like to thank also all the people that have taken time out to review my previous chapters. i know that I do not get back to you individually and I appreciate all your feedback and love and support. I thought I should let you know that I am appreciative of your efforts to help my writing improve :) Hugs to all**


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N so sorry about the length of time posting this one guys. I know you have all been patient. I am thinking that this will be the second last chapter (not sure yet, haven't written the next one after this yet lol) Once again for all your reviews and well wishes for my brother - and also the story alerts!! Wow, I didn't know I could captivate so many people. thank you all for the compliment and I will try my darndest to get the next chapter sooner rather than later.**_

* * *

"It was me DiNozzo!"

The words kept resonating through his head. How could he have been so stupid? Why did he not see this was going to happen?

Once again he slapped himself across the head. At least it stopped him being aware of the pain in his chest. He gingerly felt across the scar that had formed above his heart, imagining the penetration that he could not remember.

Tony was stuck in his hospital bed. His doctor said that he was to have no more visitors until he was able to calm down. He knew that Doctor Turner had meant well but it also meant that he was bored, immensely bored. He didn't even have any DVDs to watch. No one had come to see him so he had been left wondering and sorting through his thoughts.

* * *

Gibbs was in the waiting room.

"Did you not like me at all? Tell me Gibbs!"

The words kept resonating through his head. How could he have been so stupid? Why did he not see this was going to happen? The look in Tony's were causing the older agent an inability to sleep, not that he slept much anyway but he wasn't getting any at the moment and he had actually given in to the idea of getting some. Tony's look pierced through Gibbs memory again, a look of anger and sadness; anger because he had been hurt by someone he had obviously trusted and sadness for the exact same reason. Gibbs wondered what Tony's reaction had of been if he were to announce to the world, to everyone they work with, that Gibbs regarded him as the son he never had and held him in the same esteem as the child that he had never got to know. You were harsh on your kids to make sure they grew up right but it was true that no matter how angry you got with them, no sane parent would ever shoot them. Gibbs shook his head in disbelief. How had things gotten so out of hand? The worst thing about the whole situation was that he had no way of making it better. Well, he didn't have a way to correct it without exposing a little bit of himself and that would be dangerous, right?

"Oh hell, DiNozzo!" Gibbs stood up and started marching in the direction of Tony's room.

"Excuse me, Sir? Sir?" A nurse charged through the doors into the ICU after Gibbs.

"You can't go in there Sir! It's not visiting hours yet." Gibbs stopped walking so abruptly that the young nurse nearly ploughed into him. He turned around to face her, his height giving him a very good position in which to intimidate her. The nurse looked up towards Gibbs eyes as Gibbs just gave her a classic stare back. She gulped and after about thirty seconds had passed between the two of them, the young brunette was heard to offer, "I won't tell if you don't," and with that Gibbs smiled silently to himself as he continued on his way towards Tony.

Once Gibbs reached Tony's room he noticed that the heart monitor was beeping faster than usual. He turned towards his senior agent and noticed that a light film of sweat was covering his furrowed brow. His eyes were darting in all directions under his eyelids. Gibbs recognised the dream state of sleep known as Rapid Eye Movement or R.E.M. but seeing that combined with the perspiration and the rate his heart was obviously beating, Gibbs was all to aware that Tony was having a nightmare.

* * *

Tony was in a dark corridor. It was a place filled with familiarity but not happy memories. He recognised the grandfather clock that cut a sole figure in the hallway of the mansion he had grown up in. This was not his home, merely somewhere he had been during his childhood. He could hear the all too familiar screams of his mother coming from the room at the end of the hall, her shouts getting louder with each beating his father gave her. Tony wanted to help but what could he do? He was too young, too helpless. He was useless but he thought he would at least try to get to her. Slowly he made his way towards the door, his breathing getting heavier with each step that he took. His hand reached for the door knob that would allow him to see the yelling and the pain. As he opened the door, all too aware that his father was behind it, he witnessed his mother take her final breath as she lay fragile and broken in a pool of her own blood. She had a look upon her face of ultimate fear, fear for her life and also that of her son's. Tony saw the look of death in her eyes as he saw his father laid another blow into her bruise riddled body.

His father had been alerted to the fact that his ten year old son was now in the room. His father turned around to face him. He held a gun to his chest and he saw Gibbs' face as he heard the gun shot sound.

Tony was startled awake by the feel of a damp cloth being wiped across his forehead. As his eyes adjusted to the fluorescent lights of the hospital, he found it difficult to focus on the face that was taking care of him. As he blinked one final time, longer than the last one, he held his eyes shut remembering the last image of Gibbs holding the gun to his chest. He shuddered as his eyes opened to see Gibbs blue eyes staring straight into his. Gibbs face was filled with worry and concern but Tony had a sudden distaste for the new found intruder in his room.

"Doctor Turner said I was to have no visitors. That included you Jethro!" Tony spoke with meaning towards the man he had once considered his mentor and father-figure. Tony could not look him in the face let alone in those soul searching eyes of his.

Gibbs was taken aback by the tone of Tony's voice. Gibbs looked in Tony's direction, a look of sadness and loss in his face that Tony did not fail to notice. Tony's face softened as he saw this new side to his Boss' face. Quickly, however, Gibbs had turned towards the door muttering softly, "You're right, DiNozzo, I shouldn't have come," and with that Gibbs disappeared through the door, having left the cloth he was using to soothe the agents pain on the table next to him.

Tony looked at the doorway in shock. What had he just done?

"Gibbs? Boss? Jethro? I didn't mean..." Tony stopped yelling towards the door knowing full well that it would do nothing to bring him back. He couldn't believe that he had put together in his mind an image of Gibbs and his own father. Gibbs was nothing like his own father. Gibbs was there, mopping his brow. Tony couldn't remember his father touching him except for when he was belting him up. If Tony was completely honest with himself, he had been extremely glad to see Gibbs when he had woken. He smiled at the thought of Gibbs with the cloth in his hand. He held his hand to his head, remembering the cool the cloth had brought to him. He saw that the cloth had been placed on the hospital table, scrunched and discarded as his words penetrated into the core of the man that had tried to help him. He had never had that form of attention by anyone, let alone a father figure.

"Damn it, Boss!"

Tony stuck his legs over the side of his hospital bed. His chart read that he was only to move in a wheelchair but none of that mattered. He had to get to Gibbs. With the extra energy that Tony was exerting, his heart monitor started to alarm. He pressed the silence button as he started disconnecting all the pads that were clinging to the areas of his chest that had been shaved to allow the small things to stick to his body. The drip that was feeding constant fluid and pain relief into Tony was pulled out with immense difficulty. Once Tony got himself free, he started to run in the direction Gibbs had headed as he struggled for breath. The pain was becoming unbearable but he had to push through it. DiNozzos did not pass out he reminded himself with each step, each one becoming harder than the previous. He tried calling out Gibbs name but to no avail. The lack of breath meant that he had not enough air to power his larynx. Tony turned a corner that led toward the outside world and he saw Gibbs walking through those doors.

"BOSS!"

He had managed to yell, his breathing more rapid and his running now a walk. The hospital walls were starting to go hazy as the pain started to invade every part of his being. As he saw the hospital walls go dark, the last thing Tony saw was Gibbs taking his final step out of the hospital and out of his life forever.

How could he have been so stupid? He thought to himself as his body eventually gave in to the trauma and Tony collapsed on the cold, linoleum floor of Bethesda Hospital.

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	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N: Ok I lied, this is not the last chapter. There should only be one more after this.**_

_**This chapter is dedicated to Sue who, if she hadn't mentioned the fact that Tony had ripped stitches, this quite possibly may have been the last chapter as I hadn't thought of that scenario. Thanks :)  
**_

* * *

Gibbs had returned to his desk at NCIS. Tim and Ziva had long since been sent home to try and get some sleep. He knew that it may actually be possible for them seeing as Tony was now on the mend and awake. He on the other hand may still have a bit of difficulty sleeping. Tony wasn't allowing him to explain the full story as to what had actually happened at the warehouse was a freak accident and not a purposeful thing. Gibbs however couldn't remove from his mind's eye the look of complete hatred that Tony had in his eyes when he had awaken from his nightmare, hurt more than anything else that Tony could throw at him short of dying. He thought that there would only one person that Tony would abhor that much – his real father, Anthony DiNozzo Senior. The realization hit Gibbs with such a force that both his brain and his gut hurt. Tony was reacting towards him the same way that he would react to his father. Tony saw Gibbs in the same light as that bastard, the bastard that had disowned a twelve-year-old boy. Gibbs had heard rumours about the death of Tony's Mum being at DiNozzo Senior's hands but it seemed that the father of his agent had some very powerful friends and, Gibbs theorized, deep pockets to match.

* * *

Beep.

He was unable to move. Where was he? How did he get here? Where was Gibbs?

Beep.

Tony flicked through his memory, trying to piece together what was happening. All he could remember was the immense pain he felt as he saw Gibbs walk out of the hospital.

Beep.

He remembered yelling to his boss.

Beep.

He remembered the look on Gibbs face.

Beep.

He remembered he had told Gibbs to leave.

Beep.

He remembered the feeling of Gibbs leaving his life.

Beep-barb, beep-barb, beep-barb, beep-barb, beep-barb.

* * *

Tony's heart monitor sounded its alarm warning Dr. Jasper Turner that he was losing his patient. He was trying his best to repair the Federal Agent but the odds were working against him as was the man on his operating table. He looked into the face of Agent DiNozzo and noticed that he held a look of dismay, of loss and anguish. Jasper turned to his anaesthesiologist and asked him to up the dosage. He didn't need the distraction of Tony threatening to move while he had to re-sow all the torn stitches that the young man had ripped apart. This one was definitely stubborn. One of the emergency nurses had called him when she had noticed Anthony DiNozzo running down the hall, grasping his chest and yelling towards a man walking in front of him. The man had just continued out of the door leaving Tony in the middle of the floor. Jasper's train of thought was interrupted by a second alarm, informing him that his patient's blood pressure was dropping.

"Shit! We must have a bleed somewhere. We're going to have to open him back up. Scalpel."

* * *

Back at Gibbs desk, his phone was vibrating across it, displaying the now familiar phone number of the ICU extension at Bethesda. Gibbs wondered what mischief Tony had gotten up to now.

"Mr Gibbs?" Gibbs reacted to the sound of concern in the young woman's voice. He sat up straight and listened with intent as he waited with baited breath to the bad news he knew he was about to receive.

"Yes, that's me. Is everything alright with Tony?"

"Unfortunately..." the voice of the young nurse paused as she gathered the right words to say. "Mr. DiNozzo has had to have a third surgery Sir."

Gibbs went pale. Did he hear correctly? Tony was fine. He was angry but he was fine. He was awake and he was fine.

"What? Why? How?" Gibbs was having trouble formulating a sentence in his mind let alone one from his mouth.

"It seems that Mr. DiNozzo escaped from his bed..."

"I'm going to kill him myself," Gibbs muttered mainly to himself but he had the feeling that the nurse had chose to ignore his ill-fated words.

The young nurse continued, "... He disconnected all of the leads that attached him to his heart monitor and he had pulled his canula out of his hand which was giving him extra fluid and feeding him his meds. It seems as though he was chasing someone down the hall of the hospital."

Gibbs gut churned with the news. He had heard Tony's voice behind him but he thought he was just hoping that it was him as he stormed down the hall and out of the hospital. Gibbs had left a man behind. Worst of all, he had left his surrogate son behind. Left him behind and now his was in mortal danger. Again!

"Why would he do such a thing?" Gibbs anticipated the answer but he needed to know, to hear from someone else.

"It seems he was running, Sir. It looks as though he was chasing someone through the hospital but he collapsed from the amount of pain he must of been feeling. He has ripped open several of his stitches."

Gibbs listened to all the information the nurse was feeding him. The coffee that he had poured for himself only five minutes prior was going cold as he replayed through his mind his actions that had resulted in the phone call he was in. He was not aware that Tony had been chasing him down the hall. Tony was having a third surgery in as many days and this time it was definitely his fault. If he had only turned around thinking that Tony was chasing him. If he had thought for a second that Tony was stubborn enough to get out of a hospital bed to chase him down. If only he had realised sooner that Tony was probably having a nightmare about his father. If only he had realised that the momentary lapse in judgement that waking harshly from sleep brings a person, resulted in Tony's reaction towards him... Gibbs whacked the back of his head. How could he be so stupid?

Gibbs started to wonder how much more of this strain, Tony's body could take.

The nurse continued with all the necessary information as Gibbs grabbed his gear and made his way downstairs towards his car.

"He has just come out of surgery. We are keeping a close eye on him Mr. Gibbs, however..." Gibbs could hear the debate going on in her mind, "...however, we've had to restrain him so that he doesn't try the same tactic again. We don't think he would survive a fourth surgery if we had to do one. We were lucky as he nearly didn't make it through the third."

"WHAT?" Gibbs yelled down the receiver to the nurse on the other end.

"You're telling me that I nearly lost him and that you hadn't told me about his third operation? If he had died, I, _we_, would not have had any warning because my family and I were not told of his condition?"

The colour of Gibbs' face had changed from a deathly white to a piercing red. He couldn't figure out whom he was actually angry at; the doctors and nurses incompetence of not telling him that Tony was going in for a third surgery and was back in harm's way; DiNozzo for chasing him down the hallway or himself for allowing it all to happen. He tried to convince himself that he had heard Tony's call to him at the hospital and he had consciously ignored it to give himself some time to think. He had only tried to soothe his Senior Field Agent's pain only to be greeted by the hatred that Tony had so emphatically used. He couldn't face Tony and allow him to see how much that look had actually hurt him. None of the mattered now, though. Getting to Tony and being by his side was now his priority and no amount of pride or self-preservation was going to keep him from that.

Gibbs reached his car and hopped in having finished his yelling match with the nurse. He needed to see Tony and no amount of hatred was going to stop him from doing that.

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_**Addendum: I was originally going to have Gibbs turn around and "save" Tony as in find him and call for help however you all guessed it so i thought I would surprise you all *insert evil laugh here* Hope you all enjoyed. Please let me know what you thought. It may mean that the next chapter is written faster :)**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N it's here like I promised. I felt that there were a few unanswered questions regarding the last chapter so here they are - If anyone else needs questions answered in relation to what has happened, ask and you shall receive :D **_

_****SPOILER ALERT** for Missing, Chained, SWAK, Undercovers, Boxed In, Lockdown and S5E1 (can't remember the name lol) I am hoping that I will have the next chapter up quickly again and as I said, reviewing makes the wait shorter**_

* * *

Abby strolled through the front doors of the building that displayed the name Bethesda, wearing a smile that not even the gloomy weather of an early autumn day could spoil. Tony was awake and healthy again. In her arms she held a bouquet of the blackest roses that she could lay her hands on. There were twelve roses in a black porcelain vase but only eleven of them were black. In the middle of all the morose coloured flowers a twelfth one stood, as bright red as the lipstick she was wearing that particular day. Her explanation to Tony was going to be that he was the red rose, the one that stood out amongst all the others for not only her but for Gibbs as well. He had returned to them, to the team, slightly a little worse for wear but none the less he was back. People stared across at the gothic forensic scientist as she made her way through the hall, past the main nurses station and along the corridor of the Intensive Care Unit to stand at the doorway that led her into the private room that housed bed number twelve and her big brother, Tony, awake and looking forward, she thought, to eventually getting out of this place.

When Abby reached the threshold, however, her smile disappeared immediately from her face and the sound of shattered porcelain echoed back down the hall to the nurse's station alerting someone that a janitor needed to be sent to the room where she stood.

* * *

The noise jolted Gibbs awake from the position he had obviously fallen asleep in. The discomfort of the hospital chair provided was a reminder to all his joints that he should have been in a bed as opposed to sleeping with his head resting upon his arm laying on the mattress on which Tony was unconscious on. He had pins and needles running through his arm as he realised that his hand was still holding the arm of the younger man, mainly to allow Tony to know that he was here and wasn't going anywhere. Gibbs stood up quickly to see if anything had changed with his charge but his look fell as he realised that everything was exactly as he had left it. Gibbs placed his hand on Tony's forehead and he subconsciously began pushing Tony's hair back with his hand in a manner that he had long since used on anyone. He thought back to all the times when Kelly was sleeping and he would watch her gently using the same motion on her head to let her know that he was there. He smiled slightly at the memory, not stopping once he realised what he was doing. Gibbs thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a meek voice directly behind him in the doorway.

"Gibbs?"

Abby's throat had constricted with the shock of Tony's motionless state and the restraints that were placed around each of his ankles and both of his wrists. Gibbs turned around to face Abby, noticing the water on the floor with pieces of shattered glass and roses spread out sporadically. He knew that she was fighting hard to hold back the tears that were starting to glisten in her eyes. Gibbs avoided looking directly into them for fear that it may cause him to join in with her sadness. He had to hold strong, not just for Abby but for all of them.

"Why..." Abby's voice was choked with emotion. She tried starting again.

"Why have they got him tied to the bed Gibbs? This is Tony. He wouldn't hurt a fly well maybe a rat or a mouse b-but not a fly. Why would they feel the need to hold him, Gibbs?" A tear rolled down her cheek. "He's no danger to anyone."

"He's a danger to himself, Abs," Gibbs replied forlornly. _I'm a danger to him_, Gibbs thought guiltily.

"Tony thought it would be a good idea to go for a run through the hospital six hours after having major surgery, Abs. He's ripped apart his stitches. They haven't told me anything more."

""Why would he do that Gibbs? I know Tony doesn't like hospitals but he'll stay in them even if he is forced to and _especially_ when you are around."

"Well..." Gibbs faltered with the answer knowing that it would bring more pain to his youngest girl and that hysterics would surely follow. "Well, he was chasing after me."

Gibbs braced himself for the fireworks that were about to explode from Abby and hadn't realised he had braced himself for the barrage. When he finally did look at Abby, all he saw was her staring at him, her mouth agape as though she was going to say something but then it had closed with the realisation that she had no reply to that news.

"I didn't know he was following me Abs. Honest! I thought he was still in his bed. I didn't..."

Gibbs voice trailed off as Abby walked over to him and stood so close that she could see the look of worry across his brow and the signs that he had hardly slept in seventy-two hours.

"How is that possible?" Abby's voice was low and quiet but extremely steady.

"You are Gibbs! You know _everything_ that is going on! Even if there is nothing going on, you still know. Tony, what? Tony ... fell down in pain, collapsed in pain, and you didn't know? Not possible Gibbs! You know _**especially**_ if something is happening to Tony. Anyone can see that you treat him differently to the rest of us. You love him, Gibbs, like a son. A guy like you does not leave a man behind, anyone behind, ever!"

Gibbs stood there in silence as Abby rounded up her argument by walking past him and taking his place on the chair that was holding a vigil over Tony.

Gibbs looked at Abby and fleetingly ran his fingers through his own hair. He needed coffee, he realised and as he turned on his heel to go and get some he found that in the doorway stood Ziva, Tim, Ducky and even Jimmy Palmer had turned up. All their eyes were wide at the sight before them. Not just the sight of Tony unconscious but also at the exchange that had just taken place between Abby and himself.

"Get out of my way, McGee." Gibbs was having trouble controlling his temper. The junior field agent quickly moved to the side to allow Gibbs movement through the door. Gibbs had also noticed that Ducky was walking up to the nurse's station, more than likely looking to speak with Doctor Turner.

Ziva, Tim and Jimmy all watched as Gibbs stormed towards the waiting room and the kiosk that was going to pour his coffee for him.

Abby's words had struck a chord. He always did know when something was going to happen to his team but, as Abs had put it, _especially_ when something bad was going to happen with Tony. He had had a bad feeling the morning Tony had disappeared into the drains looking for the missing marine and when they had lost track of him when he was on the run with Jeremy. His gut had churned the morning that Ziva and he were undercover assassins and also the day they went missing at the docks. The day that Tobias had shut down NCIS to investigate them all about the death of René Bènoir and when Tony was framed for murder by Chip, he had to fight the overwhelming need to throw up. The morning of Tony's close escape with the plague and when his car blew up while he was still undercover during the whole La Greneille debacle, no, that morning he had actually thrown up. Abby was right. He did know when Tony was in trouble. Even the day Kate had died, his instincts still hadn't kicked in quite as much as they did with Tony. This time, however, this time, Gibbs had _ignored_ the signs. Gibbs stood in the middle of the hospital, eyes wide open to what he had he had just admitted. He hadn't wanted to face Tony and in doing so he had ignored the fact that his agent could have bled to death on the hospital floor.

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_**So?? What did we think? Let me know XD**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**disclaimer: do not own any part of NCIS because if i did this would be on your TV as opposed to your computer screen :P**_

_**A/N:I am so sorry to all of you who have waited so patiently and loyally for my next chapter. I have had a mild case of writers block and I finally got over a bit of it last night. I had to get my Tate story out of my head because it was interfering with this one and I hope that you guys approve of what you read. Pah-lease let me know what you think?  
**_

* * *

The familiar voices had long since disappeared with the closing of visiting hours. All that remained were the common sounds of computer fans whirring, keyboards clicking into the hollowness of an empty hallway and the soft voices of nurses at their posts keeping guard on their patients further down the corridors.

Tony awoke to fear of the unknown and the silence of nobody having waited for him.

Tony went through a checklist in his head to try and figure out what had happened. He remembered the pain that didn't seem to be with him anymore, the burning in his chest and the deep sharp breaths that he had to have been taking to try and catch up with his boss. 'Gibbs?' he thought with a saddened look on his face, not realising, momentarily why it made him so upset. He had a vague recollection of running down a hallway towards the front of the hospital to try and catch Gibbs before he disappeared out of his life as a friend, as his Dad. Then it dawned on him. What if Gibbs never came back? He would just be another person that had disappeared when Tony needed them the most.

_**

* * *

Five days previous:**_

Abby sat down in the chair next to Tony, holding his hand and trying to make the hurt go away. She realised that she didn't need to say the things that she had to Gibbs. She realised when she had sat down that Gibbs exited the room without so much as a second glance in the direction the team and Tony were. She was mad at him, that was for damn sure but what for? Did she really blame Gibbs for the state Tony was in? That couldn't be it. She loved that man like a second father and no amount of blame would get Tony back into a state of health. No something else was eating at her. She took Tony's hand and held it tight so that he knew he was not alone.

* * *

Ziva had witnessed as Abby poured out her soul to Gibbs, watching her as she didn't even flinch when she effectively blamed Gibbs for Tony's condition. Ziva had noticed the look of shame cross his face for a split second before it was quickly covered by the anger that forced himself to turn abruptly and push through the door without so much as a glance in her direction. Not that she was wishing he had noticed just that she couldn't do anything to ease the situation. Talking was not her strong suit, killing and torture she was good at, but feelings were better off hidden away so no one knew what you were thinking. She knew that Gibbs needed to let off some steam and a strong hot brew would be the best thing for him, and maybe some sleep. She thought to herself that she had not seen Gibbs actually start a coffee let alone finish one since this whole ordeal had started. Maybe that was why he was taking this so personally. He had been told that he was not the main reason for Tony being in here but at the end of the day, Gibbs was the first one to shoot Tony, even if it was an accident. The words that Abby had said, she knew would not diffuse the situation any time soon.

* * *

Tim watched his mentor stroll down the hall and out of the ICU. He had never seen Gibbs so angry and sad in the one motion. Tim didn't even think it was an emotion that could be conquered by anyone at the same time. Tim knew that Gibbs was blaming himself for Tony and Abby's words had not helped dissolve the situation. Tim looked away from the hall to stand behind Abby. She had started sobbing as the tension of the situation finally sunk into her heart. She held Tony's hand, Tim having only just noticed that he was restrained to the bed. Tim frowned at this and made a mental note to ask Ducky what they thought Tony was going to do that they thought he would do harm to anyone. Tony wasn't like that. He wasn't violent; he was a torturer – that was true. All those movie lines and realisations and really bad impersonations just got to him after a while. Tim smiled though – Tony's impression of Sean Connery as James Bond was actually quite good. Tim looked into the face of the man he considered to be an older brother to him and took a sharp breath as he noticed for the first time how sick Tony actually looked. The realisation made Tim look away quickly for fear that he would look like that in a coffin. Tim mentally head slapped himself. He did not just think of Tony as being dead. Tony was tougher than a couple of bullet holes and torn stitches. The man had survived the plague. He had dangled from a car park ledge that had a bottom that you couldn't see. He had nearly been blown up – twice. He had saved Gibbs from drowning. For all the action that Tony saw, he was still a down to earth and happy sort of guy. Hell, someone could write a book about the antics of Anthony DiNozzo, chuckling to himself at the joke he had just made – at least it would be an awesome spinoff to Deep Six.

* * *

Jimmy was taken aback by all the mixed emotions that were visible in the room for a man that he had considered a close friend. He had tried to get the first available seat back to Tony once he had heard the news but the weather had not permitted him back any sooner. He had been shocked to find Tony motionless in a hospital bed, restrained and in a hospital bed. It wasn't any less of a shock even though Dr. Mallard had explained what Tony had been through. He was not prepared to see a quiet and still Tony. It seemed like an oxymoron to him. Jimmy observed the effect that Tony had on the team. At the end of the day, Tony was the glue. No one needed to be surrounded as much by so many people as Tony having been an only child and essentially an orphan since the age of twelve when his father had disowned him after the death of his mother. Jimmy shook his head as he realised how far the man had come from his tormented childhood.

* * *

Ducky returned to Tony's room to find an array of emotions in it. Abigail was clearly upset as in contrast Timothy was nearly in hysterics. Ziva held a look of worry that was only distinguishable to him and the team because they all knew her so well. Jimmy seemed deep in thought and even though Gibbs was not in the room, Ducky knew that Gibbs was angry and remorseful in the one moment. Ducky knew how highly Gibbs held Tony. Gibbs would have loved to have a son turn out just like him. Even Abigail had mentioned to him that Gibbs treated Tony different to the rest of them. All of the team essentially only saw one or two emotions out of Gibbs – anger was definitely one of them. However, Tony got all of them directed at him; anger, sadness, joy, pride. These were the emotions that a father held for their kids the day they graduated school or broke their ankle. Gibbs did indeed hold Tony in the highest esteem. Ducky went around to the other side of Tony's bed and placed his hand on Tony's arm. As he did that Ziva went around to the side that Ducky was on and took Tony's free hand in hers. She ran her thumb across his knuckles gently observing the scars that were visible across them, trophies of the fights that he had been in. A tear escaped from her eye and was quickly swept from her cheek, for fear it may draw attention to the loss she was feeling. No one else knew what this man meant to her.

Only one person was missing from this bed side vigil and he was nowhere in sight.

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_**A/N Remember, I did ask nicely R&R!!!**_

_**(sorry my chapters seem to be getting shorter and shorter but I figure you guys would rather read a short chapter than go mo=nths without nothing at all :P)**_


	12. Chapter 12

_**A/N: I am so sorry to all my avid story followers out there that this has taken me so long. I was immensely stuck on this chapter, knowing what I wanted out of it but couldn't figure out how to get there. Now that this chapter is out of the way, hopefully the flow of it all will now continue.**_

_**A big thanks to crockettsgirl for all her help (it seems there are a lot of us that owe her gratitude) so the last of this story is dedicated to her :)**_

_**The italics at the beginning of the chapter are a link to Chapter 10 so you all know what is happening. there is also a recap in here too so ppl don't have to keep re-reading my story although :P that makes my stats look awesome lol**_

_**Please let me know what you think of this chapter because I need to know if you all think I'm heading in the right direction with this story Thanx S xxx**_

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The familiar voices had long since disappeared with the closing of visiting hours. All that remained were the common sounds of computer fans whirring, keyboards clicking into the hollowness of an empty hallway and the soft voices of nurses at their posts keeping guard on their patients further down the corridors. _

_Tony awoke to fear of the unknown and the silence of nobody having waited for him. _

_Tony went through a checklist in his head to try and figure out what had happened. He remembered the pain that didn't seem to be with him anymore, the burning in his chest and the deep sharp breaths that he had to have been taking to try and catch up with his boss. 'Gibbs?' he thought with a saddened look on his face, not realising, momentarily why it made him so upset. He had a vague recollection of running down a hallway towards the front of the hospital to try and catch Gibbs before he disappeared out of his life as a friend, as his Dad. Then it dawned on him. What if Gibbs never came back? He would just be another person that had disappeared when Tony needed them the most. _

_**Five days previously continued:**_

* * *

Leroy Jethro Gibbs was uncomfortable. He had been sitting in the moulded plastic chair for what had seemed like hours. He had tried desperately to get some sleep but to no avail. He had tried to enjoy the cup of coffee he had but to no avail. He even attempted to try and forget about Tony but to no avail. Instead he just sat and waited.

* * *

Abby sat beside Tony in the moulded plastic chair for what had been hours. She didn't want to leave his side just in case he woke up. Tony was the closest thing to an older brother she had and she needed his advice but he couldn't give it to her. The tube sticking out of his mouth assisting him with his breathing and the lack of movement from the rest of his body just confirmed that knowledge. Tony was definitely injured. It was unusual for Tony to be so still. Abby felt the need to shake him so that he would stop playing one of his pranks on her but she knew; she knew that he wasn't faking.

"Tony, I need you to tell me how to fix this."

_Fix what Abs?_

"I yelled at Gibbs and I don't think he'll ever forgive me."

_That's not true Abs. No one could ever hate you especially Gibbs. You are his favourite don't forget._

"Gibbs is not Gibbs at the moment though Tony. Ever since he thought he shot you, well I mean he did shoot you, not that I mean that he meant to shoot you..."

_ABS!_

"...He didn't mean to shoot you, Tony. I know that and you know that. I have to believe that deep down you know that Gibbs would never intentionally hurt you in any way possible."

_Oh yeah? What about all those head slaps? They were definitely intentional._

"You think I'm his favourite. I'm not his only favourite Tony. You, you he would kill and maim for without a second thought and I would be right by him so that I could cover up the evidence."

_Abs? Why do something like that? Why put yourself in danger to save me? I'm really not worth the hassle._

"You know you are worth it Tony. If you weren't worth it we all wouldn't be here waiting for you to get better. We would be, I don't know, down in Mexico getting drunk at the Cantina with Mike Franks." Abby's voice trailed off as she realised she was not the only person in the room.

Tim had been watching Abby for around three minutes. She was talking to Tony but it had saddened him to see that no response was being returned from his Senior Field Agent's mouth. The tube in it would make it very difficult for any response to be formulated, even for Tony.

"How long have you been standing there Tim?" Abby looked up at him from the chair she was sitting in, glaring at him as though the next word that came out of his mouth could cause him serious pain if he wasn't careful. She had dark circles under her eyes that suggested to him that she hadn't been home since taking up her vigil in Gibbs place.

Tim decided that a different tactic would be better pursued rather than telling her the truth about the fact that he had watched her have a one-sided conversation with Tony.

"Any change, Abby?"

Abby still glared at Tim but as he had voiced his concern, her eyes softened almost threatening to spill over as she replied with heart broken honesty, "there's still no change Timmy. He just doesn't seem to want to wake up. Did you find Gibbs?"

"We're still looking. He's not answering his cell. I've put a trace on his phone but he must be out of reception or he's turned it off because I can't find him anywhere. I don't think he wants to be found."

Abby's eyes squeezed shut at the last words out of Tim's mouth. She had been the last person to talk to Gibbs before he had left the room. She had practically blamed Gibbs for the state that Tony was in. Tony had practically, nearly killed himself trying to get Gibbs to come back to him. Gibbs mustn't have heard him. Maybe, if Tony was in pain, maybe the yell had not been a yell, not a usual yell anyway. Maybe because of the pain, Tony's yell was a whisper. Abby's eyes widened with the thought of her blaming Gibbs for something that he had no control over.

"You have to find him, Timmy. You have to for all of our sakes."

"They will be fine Abs," Tim said, trying to convince himself more than her.

Abby had turned back looking towards Tony. He was still quiet and motionless.

"I know they will, Timmy," and with that closing statement, Tim went back out of the door of room number twelve, back out into the hall of Bethesda Hospital's Intensive Care Unit. He marched down the hall knowing full well that this was the route that Gibbs must have taken, not realising that Tony was following him, ripping stitches and being in agony. Tim thought to himself that if Gibbs was marching out the door from Tony, what on earth had Tony done? Tim needed to find Gibbs to correct this. Team Gibbs needed this and with that thought Tim hopped into his car and headed towards NCIS to locate his boss and bring a halt to all this heartache.

* * *

Gibbs heard a female voice crackle through the speaker announcing what ever form of information that needed to be conveyed. He had called someone, knowing that they wouldn't mind an intrusion into their life. Gibbs replayed the conversation back in his mind once he had finally gotten hold of the one person that could help him through this mess.

"Franks! Who is this?"

"Hey Boss! It's me, Gibbs?"

"Probie? How you doing up there in the land of the free? Still at NCIS I s'pose."

"Yeah, Mike. We've seen a bit of action up here. Been a lot to deal with."

"Who's hurt Probie? Not that Senior Field Agent of yours, uh... what's his name...?"

"DiNozzo," Gibbs voice trailed away from the phone call as he got immersed in his memories of the last three days. The look on Tony's face as he slid to the floor, having been shot by both him and the terrorist in the warehouse they had been going to storm. The first surgery that Tony had where they only removed the bullet above his heart – the shot that Gibbs had hit Tony with, leaving the other two in his lung tissue because of his weakened state. Abby's voice in a panic to him on the phone as the surgeon's took Tony in for another surgery to remove the other two bullets because they had slid through the lung and nicked his heart. Then he was in the coma, everyone fearing the worst but he had woken up and it all seemed right again but then Gibbs had told Tony that he had shot him, not being able to explain the freak accident that it was, only to be pushed out of Tony's hospital room by the doctors saying that they couldn't visit him. Gibbs did anyway – he should have listened to the doctors and Tony's nightmare and trying to comfort him by wiping his brow with that damp cloth only to be looked at in utter disgust. Tony's eyes – he had seen two different emotions run through his eyes in three days. The first was pleading and worry and pain as Gibbs saw Tony collapse from the three bullets he had sustained. The second was of pure hatred as Tony awoke from his nightmare to find Gibbs mopping his brow, still angry that Gibbs had shot him and maybe associating him with the nightmare that he had probably of his father. Third, Gibbs had left Tony in his room and had managed to screw that up as well. He received a call on his cell explaining that Tony had almost died during his third surgery. He couldn't understand why no one from the team had been told about the last surgery in the first place. Apparently Tony had run after him, possibly to let him know that, hell Gibbs didn't even know why Tony ran after him. All he knew was that Tony had almost died again and that Tony had been running after him. It was his fault that Tony, the man that was like a son to him, had to have two out of the three surgeries. Gibbs was definitely a danger to him and God knew how long it would be until he got any of the others hurt. No – he had to do this, he had to not be around them for a while. It was better for them. It meant that they would be safe, kept alive, if he kept his distance from the team. Gibbs refocussed on the phone, suddenly realising what he was thinking and probably talking to the one man that could help him.

"Hey Probie?" Mike Franks voice was yelling into the receiver, "you still there Probie?"

"Yeah Boss," Gibbs replied, stoic in the decision that he had just made, "I'm still here."

"So why did you ring me Probie? Is there anything I can help you with?"

"As a matter of fact, Mike, there is something you could do for me..."

* * *

Tim waited for the equipment to load. His computer was acting up again, He needed to clean it and add more ram for memory, it was just too slow – again. He and Ziva had been given the task to find Gibbs. He had stormed out of Tony's room looking for coffee and had never returned. They had discovered that Gibbs had left the hospital and thinking that he may have headed home, he and Ziva went over to Gibbs' house only to discover that it was deserted. They thought to check back at the office only to find he wasn't there either. He wasn't answering his cell. The last time this had happened, Gibbs had left for Mexico, living with Mike Franks but they had no idea where to start looking for him. They had called the Cantina in the hope that Mike could be reached. The girl had told them a message would be sent out to his house. So Ziva and he would have to wait and see if Mike Franks would call back. They had to wait for him to return their call. Tim looked over towards Ziva's desk to notice that her head was drooping from obvious exhaustion that they were both fighting. Her eyes fighting to stay awake so that they could get a hold of their fearless leader and everything could go back to normal. Tim had ran up the stairs behind the bullpen to appraise Director Vance on the situation only to find that he was not in. He was a family man and at 2315, it was late. Tim sighed as he walked back down the stairs towards Ziva. They were certainly not going to get anything else done tonight. Tim went over to his desk and turned towards Ziva, telling her that they should go and get some rest. It had been a long day and they weren't going to accomplish anything by exhausting themselves to the point where they would end up in a bed next to Tony. They switched off their desk lamps and dragged their feet to the elevator, yawning simultaneously as the doors shut cutting them off from the NCIS world.

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_**So??? What did we think? Please let me know :)**_


	13. Chapter 13

_**A/N hey guys it seems as though the ball may be rolling on this one again which I am so grateful for. Just to let you all know, I still don't know how many chapters this one will be so you may have to stick around for a while. Also for those that are interested - I am also nearly through the second chapter of Inside Job. Been busy with work and stuff - sorry. Hopefully this chapter makes up for all of that**_

_**Reminder: the italics at the beginning of the chapter are referring back to chapter 11 just so all you guys don't get confused as to what the days previous are referring to. Hope you all enjoy :)

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_The familiar voices had long since disappeared with the closing of visiting hours. All that remained were the common sounds of computer fans whirring, keyboards clicking into the hollowness of an empty hallway and the soft voices of nurses at their posts keeping guard on their patients further down the corridors. _

_Tony awoke to fear of the unknown and the silence of nobody having waited for him. _

_Tony went through a checklist in his head to try and figure out what had happened. He remembered the pain that didn't seem to be with him anymore, the burning in his chest and the deep sharp breaths that he had to have been taking to try and catch up with his boss. 'Gibbs?' he thought with a saddened look on his face, not realising, momentarily why it made him so upset. He had a vague recollection of running down a hallway towards the front of the hospital to try and catch Gibbs before he disappeared out of his life as a friend, as his Dad. Then it dawned on him. What if Gibbs never came back? He would just be another person that had disappeared when Tony needed them the most. _

_**

* * *

Four Days Previous:**_

"I'm so glad you could help me out on such short notice Mike. I just needed to get away for a while."

Mike Franks looked towards his former partner, empathy and solace in his eyes, both emotions he didn't have much call for anymore. Having seen the state that Gibbs was in, however, brought both emotions back with ease. Every time the two of them met up it seemed that one of them was hurting, either physically or emotionally. Franks had been there when Gibbs had been nearly blown to smithereens by a terrorist that was trying to hide a secret. Franks had allowed Gibbs to stay with him at his little piece of paradise while he healed from that ordeal. Gibbs, though, had been dragged back by his team, a team that had needed his help but also a family that Gibbs had needed and missed. Four months he had been accompanied by the ex-marine only realising how much he missed the company once Gibbs had headed back to the States, slotting back into his position of Team Leader ever so easily. Their paths had crossed on several occasions after. The second last time had resulted in a death, Jenny's. Gibbs had taken her death hard but from what he had been told, DiNozzo had taken it harder. Mike had been saddened by the news of how guilty the man was feeling over her death. He hadn't known DiNozzo long, nor did he know him all that well. Except for the stories that had kept the quiet at bay while Gibbs had been staying with him in that initial four month period, Franks didn't have much to do with DiNozzo. Hearing that he was in a hospital bed fighting for his life, though, had caused some level of pain more for that sadness that his good friend was feeling rather than for the man himself. Franks knew the kind of esteem that Gibbs held DiNozzo and ever since coming back into the marine's life, Franks had noticed the change in the man; he was more relaxed than he was used to seeing, more open, and he seemed to smile a hell of a lot more. All of that was gone at the moment. Gibbs was definitely hurting and he was hurting bad.

"Bourbon, Probie?" Franks offered the glass towards Gibbs more for something to do rather than for the ideal of getting Gibbs drunk. Gibbs shook his head at the invitation, leering for a few seconds longer at the empty glass that had been leant in his direction. Alcohol was not going to be his friend tonight. It had been a long week. Trying to forget about what he had left behind was starting to take its toll on his mind and body, both having been weakened by lack of sleep and lack of nourishment. This was unquestionably due to the stress of his second-in-command having gone through three major surgeries in as many days. Tony was his son. Gibbs just hadn't told him in as many words, but Tony knew, right? The ponderings of the team leader were left to the darkness of a starless night, and to the sound of Mike Franks snoring on the couch, having consumed half the bottle of bourbon.

* * *

Special Agent McGee sat at his computer following a log that had tagged his boss' cell phone. The little diamond that would display his boss' location was nowhere on the screen. Gibbs had certainly decided that he didn't want to be followed. Ziva had gone back to Gibbs place only to find that the lights were out and that Gibbs door had been locked. McGee could recall the only other time that that house had succumbed to lock and key – Gibbs had left for Mexico. He could remember coming to the front door to knock after the third day of Gibbs hiatus just to make sure that it was all real. He had received a shock when he had discovered that Tony was sitting, holding a bottle of beer, on their boss' front porch saying nothing except 'He's not coming back Probie.' Tony had been adamant that it was all a hoax, that Gibbs would never leave them, would never leave him. But they had been wrong. He had left. In a moment of weakness, Gibbs had deserted all that he had held dear. Tony was strong, hiding behind that facade he had taken years to perfect. Tim knew though, Tim knew that he was hurting. Tony and he had moved on, Tony having done the job that he had been ordered to do and doing it well. Tim frowned at the memory replacing it with the reality of the current situation. Tony had held them all together when Gibbs left last time. Tony hadn't questioned it or complained. He did it without a second thought. Tim on the other hand was struggling with the effort. The two situations were slightly different. When Gibbs had left, Tony was not injured. Tony had less stress on him then. Gibbs had only been gone for a day though. Tony had taken care of the team for four months. Director Vance had been no help either. All he had told Tim was that Gibbs had requested some compassionate leave and there was no date set on the amount of time he needed. Tim had to find Gibbs. That was his sole mission because it seemed that if Gibbs wasn't here, Tony might never wake up.

* * *

Ducky was down in autopsy cutting into the lungs of a victim with a gun shot wound to the chest, a Navy Petty Officer that had been identified as a John Doe. Jimmy was standing by, waiting with a fistful of questions for when Dr Mallard finally finished the exploration of the organs. Ducky, however was struggling. He had gone to place the scalpel and dig deep into the tissue but the knife quavered above, as though Ducky's hand were being held by an invisible force. Ducky glanced at the face of the cadaver. He surely hadn't seen what he thought he had. Ducky blinked twice to relieve his eyes of the strain from the light above the stainless steel table. Jimmy noticed that Dr Mallard's hand was shaking, albeit mildly, but it was shaking all the same. Something was not right with the good old Medical Examiner.

"Is everything alright, Dr. Mallard?" Jimmy's voice was laced with concern, wondering what thoughts were travelling through the Doctor's mind.

"I'm fine, Mr Palmer," Ducky replied, forcing himself to proceed but being astonished at the fact that he couldn't.

"Mr Palmer?"

"Yes Dr. Mallard?"

"Could you offer our guest some down time? I think I need a breath of fresh air."

"Ok, Doctor. I will stay here with him and keep him company."

"Thankyou Mr. Palmer," and with that closing statement, Ducky put down the scalpel and walked towards the elevator, pushing the button to illuminate the third floor.

Halfway up, Ducky flicked the emergency stop button, just like Gibbs would do to interrogate one of his team. Ducky's breathing was staggered, slow and deep. He certainly had to look twice at the young man down in autopsy. It hadn't happened to him since he had become a Medical Examiner. When he was a student of Medicine at Edinburgh, it had only happened to him once or twice but it had been nearly close to fifty years since it had occurred. Ducky closed his eyes to stem the flow of breaths that were slowly overtaking his body's need for them. He shut his eyes. Ducky looked down at John Doe, but in his mind's eye he had been looking into the eye's of Tony, Tony who was on a bed in Bethesda Hospital, fighting for his life. Gibbs was still nowhere to be found and Ducky knew that Gibbs wouldn't have left for Mexico again like Tim and Ziva, even Abby were thinking. Gibbs doesn't make the same mistake twice. Ducky was sure of that. Getting his anxiety back under control, Ducky turned the emergency button on the elevator back into the 'go' position. Ducky arrived at the third floor to find Tim and Ziva sitting at their own desks, surrounded by two other empty ones. Ducky frowned slightly at the lack of life in the bullpen and thought he might just lend a helping hand.

"Ducky, what are you doing up here?" Tim nearly yelled at the surprise of seeing the doctor in their office space as he didn't have a body for them to examine.

"I thought I would offer some assistance to you and Ms. David over there. I was wondering if you had seen any sign of Jethro?"

"No," Ziva said almost with a hint of disappointment in her voice, "we have tried Mike Franks and Gibbs house, and we cannot get a trace on his cell phone. McGee thinks that Gibbs either has his phone turned off or that Gibbs is out of the country."

"So you both tried to reach Mike Franks before establishing that Gibbs is actually out of the country?"

Both the field agents looked in Ducky's direction, their mouths left open by the obvious investigative technique they both had failed to notice. Ducky chuckled to himself as he left the area, leaving Tim and Ziva to now have a new course of action to follow up on. Gibbs would be proud.

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**_PLEASE REVIEW!! I only got 8 for the last chapter :( not that I didn't enjoy them but I have received 16's and 17's - they make me feel good, even if it's telling me the bits i need to fix._**


	14. Chapter 14

_**A/N I have a thought guys about the season ending this year. I've read some of the possible spoilers (if you don't want to read on, find the next asterix) **_

_****for the end of the season and I have a theroy to why Ziva is acting strange. I think she has been doing an undercover mission for Moussad once she came back from over there. If you think about the ep Agent afloat, Ziva says, orders are orders. Now I'm not thinking it is just because she likes Michael Rivkin. I think she has been ordered to spy while in America thinking it's for Daddy but in fact it is for Michael who is a dirt-sucking scumbag traitor dude. What do you think? Also I think Macey was one of Gibbs probies and she felt that he hated her for leaving Majo9r Crimes to run her own team in LA. Just my thoughts. ****_

_**Anyways OMG guys, thankyou all for all your reviews and the new comers, welcome, and to the faithful I'm forever in your debt. It seems to be flowing a bit better than it was about a month ago so lets hope that I can get this one finished soon so I can focus on Inside Job (shameless plug shameless plug lol) Now on with the drama ...  
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_From Chapter 11:_

_The familiar voices had long since disappeared with the closing of visiting hours. All that remained were the common sounds of computer fans whirring, keyboards clicking into the hollowness of an empty hallway and the soft voices of nurses at their posts keeping guard on their patients further down the corridors. _

_Tony awoke to fear of the unknown and the silence of nobody having waited for him. _

_Tony went through a checklist in his head to try and figure out what had happened. He remembered the pain that didn't seem to be with him anymore, the burning in his chest and the deep sharp breaths that he had to have been taking to try and catch up with his boss. 'Gibbs?' he thought with a saddened look on his face, not realising, momentarily why it made him so upset. He had a vague recollection of running down a hallway towards the front of the hospital to try and catch Gibbs before he disappeared out of his life as a friend, as his Dad. Then it dawned on him. What if Gibbs never came back? He would just be another person that had disappeared when Tony needed them the most. _

_**

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Three Days Previously:**_

"Hi, Tony."

Abby was feeling the guilt overwhelm her as she walked into Tony's hospital room carrying another two black roses. She put it next to the one that she had brought with her the other day. The second one that she brought today was to make up for the fact that she had not come to see him yesterday. She placed both the delicate flowers into the second vase that she had bought in with the first rose, delicate white porcelain with a black thorn motif running across and around it. She then went to top them up with a bit more water and after having done that, placed it up high so it wouldn't interfere with Tony's allergies. She then went and sat in the plastic chair that had kept Tony company through the night.

"I'm sorry Tony. I'm sorry that I didn't come and see you yesterday. We've been working our butts off trying to locate Gibbs for you."

_Gibbs is gone?_

"Yeah, Gibbs just up and left, we can't find him. We think the guilt may have actually overridden his sense of duty this time."

_Guilt? Oh yeah, that was because he SHOT me right? He does know that I could never be mad at him forever right?_

"I don't know if he'll ever forgive himself for the freak accident that had meant that he had shot you." Abby sighed with the weight of having worked twenty-two hours of the previous twenty-six. She knew they were going to find Gibbs but he would have a hell of a lot of explaining to do.

_Freak accident Abs? He never said it was a freak accident._

"The doctors never gave us a chance to. You were getting upset and we were pushed out of your room and you wouldn't talk to Gibbs, not that I'm blaming you Tony," Abby's tears were rolling down her face as she spoke, displaying the loss that all of the team were obviously feeling. "Gibbs was always going to explain it to you, or Ducky. We just haven't had the opportunity."

Abby gently placed one of her lace-gloved hands onto Tony's wrist, rubbing the skin below so softly. She was startled by a voice at the door.

"Any change?" Abby turned around to see who owned the familiar tone, smiling towards them.

* * *

In the offices of NCIS, Tim had returned to work early to start going through all the Airport footage that he and Ziva had collected over the last part of the afternoon of the previous day. It had been harder work with just the two of them. At least it kept them busy, not having to think about the fact that they were hunting down their boss so that he could fix the problem with their other partner. They had also managed to get a hold of all the flight records for all the flights coming in and out of Mexico for the last few days. There was a lot of ground to cover. Tim had sent Abby home because she had been working non-stop since Gibbs had disappeared. He had told her to get some rest and start a-fresh in the morning because they would need her help with some of the footage they had collected. He was sorting through the last of the flight lists when a very familiar name popped up among the rest. He wrote down the flight number and the gate number at the airport where it was. He needed to see if this was the same person he thought it was or if it was just another person with the same name. It was definitely too much of a coincidence really. Tim's voice echoed the two familiar voices that were absent in the bullpen – "In the words of one Leroy Jethro Gibbs – 'I don't believe in coincidences.'" For the first time in days, Tim had a smile on his face and a lead to where to start tracking down the team's fearless leader.

* * *

Gibbs stared out of the window overlooking the day that had embraced Washington. From where he stood he had a clear vision of the Navy Yard, watching his distant colleagues as they hustled and bustled in and out the main door of his place of employment. Gibbs didn't know what he had been thinking. Why was he spending his time here and not with his boat, grinding and sanding away all the cares in his life? It was because the boat couldn't help him at the moment. No matter how much sawdust he got covered in or how hard he felt he needed to pummel the dowel into the planks of the boat, Gibbs situation was not changing. Gibbs had been eyeing the bottle of scotch that sat proudly on the mantle of the room he was a guest in. It had replaced the bottle of bourbon that Franks had half consumed the night before. Gibbs smiled at the image of his former partner asleep on the single seater that was sat immaculately in the middle of the suite, the bottle threatening to fall out of his hand and spill onto the extremely modest carpet that covered the floor. Gibbs had tried to pry it away only to be slurred at by a very drunk and worn out Franks, so he had left the bottle in Franks' loose embrace. When Gibbs had walked in at 06:00 hours that morning, Franks hadn't moved but the brown liquid had pooled and sunk into the carpet, escaping into the weaves of a night wasted.

"What the hell?"

Gibbs strode to the kitchenette to grab a seemingly clean glass from the cupboard. He wiped the innards of the tumbler with his shirt, ignoring the fact that it had been the same shirt that he had been wearing the previous day. Gibbs blew the imaginary dust that had remained in the bottom of the glass and having grabbed a handful of ice, placed it in the glass and quickly covered the ice with the straight scotch, half melting the ice before he had finished pouring his share. His mouth caressed the side of the glass as the liquid, smooth and delicate in taste, played with the sides of his mouth and then left its familiar heart-warming burn as it trickled down his throat. Gibbs didn't care what time it was. The scotch was already loosening his grip on the world due to the lack of food and sleep that he had experienced in the last week. With every mouthful of scotch, came another heart-felt pain of the sight of Tony's eyes, hating him for what he had done.

* * *

Ziva, after getting a call from Tim had rushed to the sight of the hotel that Mike Franks had organised a room. Gibbs had not left the country but instead, Mike Franks had come to the States, probably at the request of his former partner and friend. Ziva knew that she had to keep busy because keeping busy meant that she wouldn't have to think about Tony, about the way his smile could brighten up the dullest of days, the way his incessant movie quotes drove her ball-y. Ball-y? Maybe batty is the word, stupid English idioms. She frowned at how Tony was never there when she really needed him, not that a trained assassin needed anyone, but she needed him. She needed him to cheer her up, to back her up, to bring her back to reality, to laugh at her jokes. In all honesty, she missed him. Missed seeing his face in the office all the time, missed the quick glances that he thought she didn't see. She smiled as she thought about all the time he tousled her hair. No, she had to disagree with herself. Tony may not have been there physically, but in spirit he had still managed to cheer her up. Maybe she would call past to see him on her way home. First, though, she had some questions to ask of one Mike Franks.

* * *

Ducky walked into the now familiar hospital room, having taken note of the black roses that were cradled in a white vase that displayed to the world that Abigail had been to see him that day. Abigail was now asleep with her head resting next to Tony's, her hand interlaced loosely with his. She was obviously exhausted with all the worry that she had experienced over the last week but especially over the last few days with half of the strong men in her life out for the count; one lying still in a hospital bed, the other Missing In Action. Ducky smiled at the sight of the two of the dearest people in his life showing so much honesty and vulnerability towards each other without even being conscious to examine it. Ducky had left Jimmy back at autopsy to finish up all the reporting and the tidying up so that he could escape the clutches of the tumultuous pile of work he had to deal with. Ducky was tired. Abigail was tired. They were all tired, all of them except for young Anthony. You would think that he would have the courtesy to wake up, especially now that the tube had been removed from his throat and he was breathing on his own. Tony was breathing by himself. A smile lit up the features of the elder man's features, showing a feint taste of what he had looked like in his younger years. He had been told that he did hold a striking resemblance to Illya Kuryakin but had never had the chance to see if it were really true. Ducky left the room in a haze to quickly find Dr. Turner or to at least get an update from one of the nurses. As the sun was starting to set on the sixth day after all this commotion had started, they finally had some good news. Tony was not out of the woods yet but he was getting a lot closer to finding his way back to his family.

* * *

_**I hope you all liked. Please be honest in what you think - I've found that I've been a little too honest with some of the ppl I've been reviewing so I've decided that we need a review of our reviews lol - sorry am tired. Should have been in bed about an hour and a half ago. Love to you all :)**_


	15. Chapter 15

**_A/N Ok guys, just so you know, I have never been to Washington. I live in Australia. the only things I know of Washington is that there is an impressivemomument there as well as the white house. I am aware that this story may be falsified in the positioning of the motel but I am using creative liscense here ok :) Just thought I would let you all know that._**

**_I thought I would focus on Tim and Ziva in this chapter as I seem to have trouble getting into their heads. I was hoping not to leave it where it was but where's the fun in that. It means that I will have another chapter focussing on *three days previous* to Tony waking up. Which is good for you guys cos it means I'm not at the end yet but I am getting there :)_**

**_Please let me know what you all think please. I need confidence boosting stuff especially considering my other fiction will be incorporating all the characters, not just Gibbs and Tony. Let me know if they're OOC.  
_**

_

* * *

The familiar voices had long since disappeared with the closing of visiting hours. All that remained were the common sounds of computer fans whirring, keyboards clicking into the hollowness of an empty hallway and the soft voices of nurses at their posts keeping guard on their patients further down the corridors. _

_Tony awoke to fear of the unknown and the silence of nobody having waited for him. _

_Tony went through a checklist in his head to try and figure out what had happened. He remembered the pain that didn't seem to be with him anymore, the burning in his chest and the deep sharp breaths that he had to have been taking to try and catch up with his boss. 'Gibbs?' he thought with a saddened look on his face, not realising, momentarily why it made him so upset. He had a vague recollection of running down a hallway towards the front of the hospital to try and catch Gibbs before he disappeared out of his life as a friend, as his Dad. Then it dawned on him. What if Gibbs never came back? He would just be another person that had disappeared when Tony needed them the most. _

_**

* * *

Three Days previously continued:**_

Tim had decided that because everyone else in Team Gibbs had returned home for rest of some sort, he may as well give it a try. He knew that having a bit of sleep would allow for different information to be found with fresh awakenings. After leaving through the security gates in his car, Tim decided that he would call in and see Tony on his way home. He hadn't been in to see him since the day after his third surgery and quite frankly, he would only admit in private, he sort of missed the big guy. So, Tim drove his Porsche through the main car park in Bethesda and quickly found a spot in an uncrowded parking garage, it having already passed 18:00 hours.

Tim sat down in the chair opposite the hospital bed, staring at the lack of exuberance escaping Tony's body. Tony was definitely too still to be considered completely healthy, but he could now see what Ducky had told him about Tony's breathing tube to be true. Tony was in fact breathing by himself and Tim watched the steady breaths that caused his chest to move up and down in a wave-like motion. The effect was rather calming, Tim thought, as he watched to make sure that he was not dreaming, to make sure of the fact that Tony was going to get better.

_What are you staring at Probie?_

A smile played on Tim's lips as the thought of the now familiar nick-name filled his thoughts with a voice that he had to admit, he missed hearing.

"I'm staring at you breathe Tony. Is that a crime now is it?"

_No crime, Probie, you're just starting to freak me out a little._

"Sorry... I mean, it won't happen again."

_I should think so Probie. So is the Elf Lord enjoying his new sense of power, now that I'm not in the squad room at the moment? I bet you're copping a lot of crap from Gibbs but I'll tell you Tim, don't back down. He can smell the fear._

"Actually Tony, I thought Abby would have told you. Gibbs is no where to be found. We've looked everywhere we can think of and there's still no sign of him."

_He didn't go back to Mexico, did he?_

"No we covered that Tony, we thought he had but Ducky set us straight."

_Good old Ducky! What were you thinking if Ducky set you straight?_

"Well, we thought what you believed too, Tony. We thought he had run off to Mexico again. We couldn't get a trace on his cell and he wasn't at his house so we assumed the worst. We thought he had left us because of..."

Tim froze with the words about to escape his lips.

_Probie? Because of what, Probie? Because I'm not worth waiting for Tim, is that it? You thought Gibbs left because it was my fault._

"I... I didn't say that Tony. W-what I meant was we thought Gibbs left because, well, because you weren't getting any better."

_So you do think it was my fault!_

Tim winced at the thought of Tony yelling at him.

"No, Gibbs cares about you Tony. I mean, Gibbs cares about all of us but you and Abby, you two he treats as though you are his son and she is his daughter. Don't you get it Tony! We thought he left because he couldn't stand the thought of losing another child like he had done with Kelly. Believe it or not Tony, I think he loves you like a son."

Tim's voice trailed off with the thought of the damage that would occur if this situation wasn't fixed.

"Tony you've got to get better. I can't do what you did the first time around. You held us together. I'm struggling to do it. Once this mission is achieved and if you or Gibbs failed to come back, I'd probably quit or get a transfer out of Major Crimes. This job just wouldn't be worth it without you there."

Tim held his bottom lip under his top one with his teeth as he thought about the next few words that he would say to make it all seem better. Tears stung at his eyes as he fought with all his might to hold them back.

"You know what Tony. I'm going to say it. You are nothing like the older brother that I would have imagined for myself..."

_PROBIE!_

"...but you **are** the best older brother that I could have ever hoped for."

Tim gathered his thoughts together as he walked out of the room and off to a place of rest, failing to miss the smile that lay on Tony's lips.

* * *

Ziva had arrived at her destination. Tim had told her to go home and get some rest so that they could start anew in the morning but Ziva knew that she would not sleep until this lead was followed-up. She had to at least see if she got an answer for all the troubles that she and Tim had been put through.

The motel was a shabby, run-down place with an outside that revealed cracked rendering which had the old 1970's style of red brick peeking through. By the looks of things, Ziva had thought, business obviously wasn't booming for this little dilapidated building opposite the river. Of what Ziva knew of Mike Franks though, she was certain that this little sanctuary would definitely stir an interest in the former NCIS agent. It was an area that was isolated in the over-crowded jungle that was Washington D.C. Ziva was also aware that Gibbs would find it appealing too, it being a structure of simplicity and rustic facade. However, once Ziva strolled through the threshold of the main entrance, the picture was completely different. Maybe business wasn't quite as bad as she has originally thought. The main hall was adorned with historic paintings, vivid in colour and played to a rhythm of fun. The walls in contrast however were just a simple shade of cream. This caused the bright colours to immediately attract your attention. The floor was tiled with a marble-style copy, grey in colour but Ziva's practical shoes made no sound as they made contact. The main desk was housed directly in front of the entry doors, which behind it stood a smiling clerk, looking to serve the exotic beauty that had waltzed into his little piece of paradise.

"Shalom, I was wondering if you would be able to help me." Ziva looked straight into the young boys' eyes to test for how much information she may be able to get out of him.

"What is it you would like help with Ma'am?" Ziva winced at the formality used.

"Please call me Officer David." This statement was accompanied with her hand being held up to the man's face showing him the flip out badge that was issued by her place of employment.

"Anything I can do for you, Ms. David." The young boy, who looked no older than twenty-one, smiled an emblazoning grin that was set firm in a hard set jaw. He was not un-attractive, just a little young for her tastes. His pale blue eyes were framed by smile lines, the only lines that were visible on his face. This young man actually reminded her a bit of Tony. She smiled at the thought of a younger Tony, but the memory faded to the present, forcing her to remember the purpose of her visit to this little slice of life.

"I'm after information regarding one of your patrons, a Mr. Mike Franks."

Typing away on his computer, the clerk pulled up the records for all his guests, looking for the name of Franks. After about half a minute, he turned towards Ziva, shaking his head with a frown on his lips.

"No one here by the name of Franks."

Ziva's mind was racing. She was sure that Franks was here. All the Intel that she and Tim had received had pointed to Franks being at this very location. She knew that Tim would agree with her that the most logical step to finding Gibbs would be by locating Mike Franks. They knew Franks hadn't left the country again; they were keeping a hand on that collar. Collar? Maybe leash. Ziva's heart sank with the realisation that she was no closer to Gibbs and no closer to finding a way for Tony to come back to them. Ziva shook her head in surprise. Had she really thought that Gibbs was the key to bringing Tony out of the coma he was in? Not any person can do that, she thought. The realisation of the feelings that accompanied the last thought held strong. The focus of Tim and she was to find Gibbs, to find Gibbs so he could make all this dull heart-ache go away. For Gibbs to do what he always does, he makes everything in the world right again. Ziva could not believe what she was admitting to. She had never relied on anyone else so much, not even her brothers and sisters in Tel Aviv and definitely not her father. In her gut, Ziva knew that Gibbs could make this all better. That was a lot of faith to have in a man that had disappeared once the tough going had become too much. Gibbs hadn't left the city though. She was sure that he hadn't although they had all been sure that Gibbs had left the country; even Abby had admitted that if Gibbs lost Tony, that she didn't know what he would do with himself. Ziva knew that to make all the hurt feelings and for things to return to what they were like before Tony got shot, Ziva had to be successful in her mission to find Gibbs.

It was late afternoon. Gibbs couldn't read the clock due to the fact that he had forgotten to put his glasses on, or was it due to the three quarters of a bottle of scotch that he had drunk. His mind was filled with raw emotion. His head rested on the back of the old-style single-seater. The bottle of scotch was on the mantle. The ice that was clinking the sides of the glass tumbler was the only sound that was muffled by the walls of the lonely room. Gibbs was watching the colours of the afternoon sun play on the wall that fell through the window of his little hotel room. Even from the low level he was situated, Gibbs could still make out the structure of his place of work, the majority of its business day complete.

Ziva's thought process was disturbed by the young clerk at the front desk. His voice had cut through her reverie and his hand was gently shaking her shoulder.

"Ma'am, I... I mean, Officer David. Did you just say Gibbs?"

Ziva not aware that she had spoken turned with a confused expression on her face for a moment, only for her training to quickly disguise it.

"I am actually trying to locate a Special Agent Gibbs and the key for me to finding him is through Mike Franks. Why do you ask?"

"There is an L.J. Gibbs staying on the third floor Ms. David. I thought you would want to know."

Ziva's voice caught in her throat. How could it have been so simple? She came here looking for Franks to find Gibbs but instead she had stumbled on Gibbs himself. To hell with Franks, she thought. Franks could now enjoy his holiday if that's what he was doing here.

"What room is he in?" Her heart was racing with the realisation that everything was going to be ok.

"He's in Room 304."

"Thank you." Ziva gently reached over and grabbed the clerks arm and gave it a reaffirming squeeze to let him know how much she appreciated the information that she had just received.

Ziva bounded up the stairs three at a time, the flexibility of her limbs an attribute to her fitness regime. She was just about to reach out and knock on the front door of the room when a familiar vibration at her hip, disturbed the moment.

"Ziva, Ziva, Ziva, Ziva, Ziva."

"Yes Abby. What can I help you with?" Ziva's speech was restrained through her teeth, displaying the frustration that she felt.

"I just thought I would let you know that Tony's on the mend. They took his breathing tube out of his mouth. He's breathing on his own now Ziva. I hadn't noticed but Ducky came down and saw me in my lab and questioned me as to how much sleep I had and he asked me if I had noticed anything different about Tony and I had said no..."

"Abby?"

"...but then Ducky said that they had taken Tony's breathing tube out and he was on the mend. Oh Ziva, I'm just so happy I had to call you and tell you the good news because I know that you are looking for Gibbs to try and fix this whole mess and in order to find Gibbs you need to find Franks and the..."

"Abby?"

"...fact that Tony is getting better means that you must be close to finding Gibbs. Are you close to finding Gibbs?"

Stunned at the sudden stop of Abby's ramblings, Ziva smiled the first genuine smile she had felt all week. She filled the forensic scientist on where she was and what she was about to do.

"Can you let Tim know for me please?" Ziva could hear Abby's smile down the phone.

"We're going to be OK aren't we, Ziva?"

"Yes Abby, yes I think that we are." With that final statement, Ziva closed her phone without saying goodbye. She reached up her hand and she knocked on the door.

* * *

**_So??? How did I do? :S_**

* * *


	16. Chapter 16

**_A/N: Sorry it has taken me so long, I'll ramble at the end so you can read it now :)_**

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* * *

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**From Chapter 11:**

_The familiar voices had long since disappeared with the closing of visiting hours. All that remained were the common sounds of computer fans whirring, keyboards clicking into the hollowness of an empty hallway and the soft voices of nurses at their posts keeping guard on their patients further down the corridors. _

_Tony awoke to fear of the unknown and the silence of nobody having waited for him. _

_**

* * *

Three Days previously continued:**_

Ziva's knock was forceful and impatient. She couldn't understand why Gibb's had been hiding from them for the past week. She knew that Tony's condition was taking its toll on him but to what extent she was not sure. Ziva looked at her watch to figure out why there was no answer coming from the room. She tried again, this time the knock was stronger and more deliberate. However, she still received no reply.

After about twenty minutes, she started pleading to the occupant on the other side of the door to open up. She said everything from stating that they were just there to help to nearly screaming at the door to be let in.

After an hour, her patience had run out and she ran down the stairs and asked the desk clerk if she could have the key to room 304. When she was denied, she stormed out saying that she would be back the next day with a warrant to back her up.

_**

* * *

Two days previously:**_

The rising sun brought with it the hangover of all hangovers. Gibbs rose regardless of the time glancing at the time on his wrist to see that it was blurry. How much did he drink last night? Last night? What had happened last night?

He pulled focus onto the mantle piece, noticing for the first time the fake fire place beneath it and the new bottle of bourbon on top of it. It was a gas heater but for all appearances it gave the inviting warmth and comfort of a true fire.

Gibbs tongue felt furry. He tried to ignore the awful taste, instead forcing himself to remember what he had forgotten. His mind drew a blank and he walked over to the curtains in the room. He pulled them back to reveal the bright and shiny day that was going to welcome him to the land of the living. Gibbs pulled the drapes shut and cursed the world for being cheery. He headed for the bedroom, closing the door behind him. He was not in the mood for the world today; he was going to forget the one thing that he thought he should remember. Tony was damaged and for the first time, Gibbs truly believed that there was no hope for him, that Tony would die and that Gibbs would have lost another one – another agent, another child. His heart couldn't stomach that information and as he lay down on the bed, he let his stupor glide him into unconsciousness again.

* * *

It had taken Ziva and Tim all day to secure the warrant for Gibbs hotel room, judges saying things like it wasn't a matter of life or death. When Ziva replied with it could be, one of the hierarchy signed off on it, much to the pleasure of the Moussad assassin. Tim couldn't help but be slightly amused by the antics of the worried judge.

Ziva and Tim returned to the motel. The sun was starting to set across the capital and they were sure to get Gibbs to come back and help them once he found out that Tony was starting to get better, that he was breathing on his own. They were sure of that.

* * *

Gibbs opened the second bottle of bourbon that Mike had left for him. Gibbs shook his head as realised that his coping mechanism had failed him. He was a wreck. He didn't care. He knew that the one thing that would make him stop was disappearing out of sight because he had been so reckless. He had shot Tony and, yes the doctors had pulled out his bullet first but the other two bullets would not have entered Tony's body if the first one hadn't gone in. Gibbs thought to himself he should have just stood in the room, held the gun to Tony's chest and shot him at point blank range. It would have done the same job. Tony would be nearing death and Gibbs would still be guilty. End of story!

_End of story? That doesn't sound like you at all Jethro._

"I've changed, I-I can't do it again."

_You have to and you know you can. We believe you can._

"He's like the son I never got, the one..."

Gibbs looked up at the apparition in front of him. How much had he had to drink? He'd lost count and with that thought, he downed another mouthful of the smooth, warm beverage, thinking to himself it obviously wasn't enough.

* * *

Ziva knocked on the motel room door. Well, knocked was putting it mildly. Ziva nearly broke down the door in anticipation of what she might find on the other side of it. She went to yell but her voice caught momentarily in her mouth, her tongue dry from all her excitement. Tim stood behind her and swallowed as though doing so would help her moisten her lips. Ziva tried speaking again, but the hope that was accompanying her impatience on the door was causing her mouth to malfunction, her breath to catch in her throat and her heart skip a beat. They were finally going to bring Gibbs back and make him realise that he won't lose Tony, not this way.

Because of the lack of response from the other side of the door, Ziva had banged on the entryway a little bit louder and with a little more force than was necessary. This was getting frustrating. Even though they had the warrant to back them up if they had to force their way in, it was still Gibbs they were dealing with, their boss, their mentor, and their friend. Ziva and Tim had no idea which one they were going to encounter on the other side.

* * *

The warmth of the bourbon mixed with Gibbs consciousness or lack thereof to create an image of beauty in front of him, actually two beauties. He laughed. Oh yeah, he was definitely drunk.

_What do you have to say for yourself, Jethro? _

"Nothing Ma'am."

_Ma'am? Since when was I a Ma'am to you? _

"Since I found out that I can't deal with it anymore. I can't lose him. I can't do this again."

_You'd be surprised what you might find out Jethro, you might even have reason to go on._

Gibbs laughed again at the absurdity of what was being said.

"Go on? You mean continue, don't you? You think I can continue to feel this way for the rest of my life? I barely made it through the first time. The second was painful and so was the third, but this..." Gibbs speech trailed off into the bourbon that had quenched the thirst of his lips.

_You got through it Jethro. It's who you are. It's why I loved you._

Gibbs eyes met with the vision in front of him, finally seeing who it was he had been talking to although he knew from her voice that it was her. He smiled.

* * *

"C'mon Gibbs open up! We don't want to have to break the door down."

Tim was now pleading with the occupant of the room. He had promised Abby that he would bring Gibbs back today and that they would tell him that Tony was going to be alright and that everything could go back to the way it was. Tim rolled his eyes as he realised that obviously he had been with Abby too much over the course of the week because now his thoughts started sounding like her rambling.

Tim turned to Ziva and with a glance that meant they were going to break down the door, they both stopped when they heard the shuffle of socks on a thick woollen carpet.

"Agent Gibbs!" Ziva yelled at the top of her lungs, her voice obviously capable of sound now they were getting somewhere.

"There's no one here by that name, Officer Da-veed."

The accent on Ziva's surname had her and Tim looking at each other. The door was closed. Her and Tim knew though, they knew who was on the other side of that barrier. She tried to expel the anger that was building up and stealing her hope. Both Ziva and Tim knew the voice coming from the other side of the barrier between them.

"Mr. Franks! We know that Gibbs is in there, his name is on the registry downstairs! We need..."

Ziva's thoughts were running a mile a minute. She, they, had to think of a reason that would make Franks open the door.

"It concerns Tony."

With that statement, the door to room 304 swung open. The opening had revealed a very tired, dishevelled and possibly hung-over, Mike Franks. Tim noted the well worn look of Franks clothing, the rumpled blue, collared shirt that was half buttoned and falling off his tall frame. His pants were creased probably due to the fact that he had more than likely passed out on the two seater sofa that was being kept company by the plasma that sat opposite it. Finally looking at Franks' face, his unshaven chin and his glassy eyes filled in the blanks as to what he had been doing the night before. Also the fact that he was now having trouble adjusting to the artificial light that was streaming from the doorway into his darkened room meant they had woken him up.

"What's wrong with DiNozzo?"

Franks knew that Gibbs was having a hard time but he wasn't going to betray his friends' trust by revealing that to his underlings. So instead, he eyed Ziva suspiciously as though she was hiding the truth about stealing the last cookie.

"I, that is, we..." pointing towards Tim,"... thought that Gibbs would like to know that Tony is now breathing on his own."

Ziva tried to force her way into the motel room looking for Gibbs but was stopped by Franks arm that was covering the threshold.

"He's not here!"

"We know he is here, his name is on the list!"

"To whom are you referring, Officer David?"

Ziva's frustration finally reared its head with the desperation that was now evident in her voice.

"Gibbs? GIBBS!"

Ziva's yelling was lost on the echo of an empty room. Her hope had faded with the silence she received in return. She had spent the last four days trying to locate him as though all this would get better if Gibbs just returned to, well, being Gibbs. She now understood why Tony had so much faith in him. Normalcy didn't exist without him there. They, that is, she would move on, but it would not be normal, it would be weird and it would be disappointing.

Tim watched the exchange that happened between his partner and the former Special Agent. He had to admit that they were closer to Gibbs than they had been when Tony went into his second coma and Gibbs had disappeared. They had found Franks, the missing link between themselves and Gibbs. Tim stated as plain as day, "Where is he?"

"Who? Gibbs? I don't know but he's not here. Now if you mind I would like to get back to the siesta I was in the middle of."

With that, Franks closed the door in their faces.

Gibbs certainly didn't want to be found and they also knew that Franks was lying. That left one major question, where in the world was Leroy Jethro Gibbs?

* * *

_**A/N I know, I know - you all thought Gibbs was on the other side of that door and I'm sorry. But... ain't I a stinker :P**_

_**Obviously my muse needed my story near me to write it. It has been at my Mum's place since the missle of May. I get the book home and I write a chapter. **_

_**And I also assume that you have noticed that I kept my promise about abandoning Father and Son. I will finish it for all of you out there :)**_

_**Please let me know what you thought and also who you think Gibbs is talking to, would like to see if anyone sees where I'm going (besides crockettsgirl cos she already knows where I'm going so shhhh! ;P)  
**_


	17. Chapter 17

_**A/N: I am so sorry it is taking so long with this piece. I hope all of you out there in Fanfic land have not deserted me and my little stories.**_

_**Thanks for sticking around and for all the new readers, thanks for taking the time to read it.**_

_**On with the angst!**_

_**SPOILER ALERT: Recoil, Judgement Day, Bounce would be the recent ones but there are also mentions to Hiatus and the second episode of the series that I can't think of at the moment. Just be aware!

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**_

Gibbs eyes burnt at the retina once a peek of sunlight slipped through the slit it had made. He vaguely recognized his surroundings as the hotel room he had stowed away from his team in for close to a week. He noticed in his hand was the bottle of scotch that he had consumed the night before. His tongue felt furry, his head was pounding and he could feel the effects of five days stubble on his face, causing an irritable itch.

As his eyes tried focusing on the room surrounding him, something on the mantle caught his eye. A bottle of bourbon, his usual hooch, was there. Mike had obviously replaced it during the night. What Gibbs failed to notice was the piece of paper that had fallen from beneath it with the breeze caused by the air conditioning. It simply read in familiar writing – _Anthony's awake._

_*********_

Ziva and Tim returned to the bullpen. Mike Franks was hiding something; he knew something about Gibbs and the fact that he was not letting them see Gibbs to bring his out of whatever funk he may have found himself in. They could help him. That they knew but Gibbs was not one for asking let alone showing that he was not handling the situation with Tony. They needed to show him that Tony will be fine. They just had to figure out how to get to him.

Out of both frustration and anger, Ziva threw her badge into her top draw and started pacing a familiar path through the carpet in the squad room.

"I am going to see, Tony."

The statement was almost missed by Tim but he nodded, not wanting to anger the Moussad agent anymore than she already was. He understood her frustration. Gibbs was meant to guide them through this mess and now he had done the one thing that was so unlike him – he ran. Gibbs never ran, he never disappeared when the going got tough, so what made this time so different? Could it have something to do not only with Tony but something else hidden, hidden in a place that even Gibbs had tried to forget that it had happened. Having been lost in thought, Tim had failed to notice that Ziva was no longer in the room and that he had been staring at his computer screen for almost ten minutes. Maybe they were looking in the wrong place? Tim started thinking, if Gibbs needed solace, where would he go where no one would find him? Tim quickly set his fingers into motion across the keyboard in a flurry of excitement. What if Franks hadn't been lying? With that thought, Tim silently "attaboy-ed" the back of his head. Tony would be proud.

_*********_

Ziva stood outside the threshold that led into Tony's room. She didn't like seeing him like this, still and quiet. Wiping at the silent tear that had fallen down her face, Ziva went and sat beside her partner in the hard molded chair provided. Tony still looked pale but she was happy to see that he was, in fact, breathing quite well on his own, well as well as could be expected for Tony. She gently placed her hand on his forearm, moving it up and down in a motion that was probably more comforting to her than to him. Normally she would be cleaning her gun, but after all the fiasco that two guns had caused the team, Ziva had thought better of it. She hadn't been by to see Tony for a few days and she felt she owed him at least one visit.

Not knowing what to do, Ziva found comfort the only way she knew, she started humming a lullaby. The song was sweet and short but was also calming and serene. She thought back to when she used to sing it to Tali when the sound of bombs and gunfire were outside their door in Israel. It had calmed the hysterics that would be coming from her little sister but once she had started humming that tune, all the horrors of the world disappeared with those seldom notes.

As Ziva continued her vigil, thoughts were brought up about Tony and what they had been through in their short time together, Jeanne, Jenny, Ari and Kate. Getting sent away as an agent afloat, her nearly getting killed while undercover – they definitely got themselves into their fair share of trouble and now here they were again, her waiting for him to heal and at a loss for what to do. Gibbs would normally be able to tell them what they needed to do to get the job done, but he was nowhere to be found and she was at a loss for something to help them move forward.

The humming subsided to give way to exhaustion as Ziva's head lolled on her arm. Sleep finally consumed her and she fell asleep with her hand still on Tony's arm. She failed to notice when the arm below hers moved to gently entwine and lace their fingers together.

_*********_

A flurry of activity greeted Dr. Mallard as he strode back into headquarters. Even though Gibbs team had been taken off main rotation due to the fact that half their team was unavailable, it never seemed to stop amazing the elderly M.E. as to how the world continued to run even if the lives of two people had come to a complete standstill. Even though he was not renowned for interfering with cases, Ducky felt his expertise may be needed on this one, seeing he was the closest friend that Gibbs had. No one knew him better or for longer but when young Timothy had approached him, asking details about the missing man in question, Ducky, for once in a very long time, was at a loss for answers to give him. Ducky had only seen this side of Jethro once before and he had been caught up in his own anger that he had forgotten to question the motive behind such a reaction. This time he knew better.

Gibbs was hurting but so was the rest of the team. The only person that may even come close to the amount of pain that was coursing through Jethro's veins would be Abby, but unlike Gibbs, she had a healthy way of dealing with them – she released them. Jethro was one to hold onto his feelings for fear of being seen as weak. Ducky had always thought it was the man who was able to bare his soul as the stronger one but once again, Jethro had ignored the metaphor in his story, merely having ignored him again.

_*********_

Gibbs had fallen back to sleep in the hope of recovering from the self-inflicted ailment. He sat in the solitary chair in the room and wracked his brain trying to remember what may have happened the previous night. He remembered waking up around noon after returning around six. The only other thing he could remember was seeing… He recalled two people being in the room but he couldn't remember who. Gibbs stared longingly at the alcohol that had replaced his one from the previous night. Maybe it would help him remember, but more than likely, Gibbs pondered, it would make him forget. Remembering Tony looking so fragile and broken in the hospital room, Gibbs walked over and broke the seal on the brown liquid, failing to go find a glass and taking a small sip from the bottle. The numbness was returning with the hair of the dog and Jethro sat back down and watched the sun set over another wasted day.

"Ah, to hell with it!"

Another swig and the afternoon was lost in memories and bad experiences. Hopefully this would mean Tony would be forgotten about for another evening.

_*********_

Tony frowned at the silence. There were no sounds except the imaginary breeze he had concocted in his coma. Tony had been spending time, as he figured it, in limbo. He knew he wasn't dead. Gibbs would kill him if he were. So the surprise of his life hit him when he found the man in question sitting next to him on his bench.

"Not much to look at is there?"

"Can't say there is, Boss."

Tony stopped talking to take in the appearance of the former gunnery sergeant. His hair was disheveled; his usually neat attire discarded for scrappy looking pieces of clothing and a growth on his face that probably was itchy as hell. This man was not Gibbs. Gibbs didn't look like this. The man was a rock. Instead this man was an imposter; this was the man that had left for Mexico, left him in charge. This was the man that had quit on him. Gibbs would never give up on him, surely? Gibbs had faith right? Tony couldn't look the man in the eye. He was afraid of what he might find there. Guilt

"You look… um… comfortable."

Gibbs simply smiled. He knew that Tony was struggling for words. Hell, he was doing the same. In some ways, Ducky was right. Both of them were very similar in some aspects, but extremely different in others. Gibbs saw the man as he always saw him, dressed in some expensive brand that he'd never heard of, looking to the world as though he was confident and healthy. Gibbs smirked his inane smile of his, realizing that even the clothes the boy wore, hid the true nature of what was beneath. Tony was a man of contradiction; for all the confidence he exuded, the man was only ever after one thing in life – approval and acceptance. Gibbs had shown that hadn't he? He was the longest standing member on his team. No other agent had come remotely close. The only person that racked up more friendship miles was Ducky. Even Jenny couldn't claim that, nor Leon for that matter. Tony, besides Ducky was the longest standing friendship he had known. Tony had to understand that?

"Yeah, I took a week off for sabbatical."

Gibbs smiled at the joke he had offered the younger man, referring to a time when they had been discussing, only briefly, about Gibbs holiday to Mexico three years prior. Tony had been failing to find a word that would cause the older man to take pity on him, referring to a not so pleasant event in their recent history. Gibbs had saved the boy by changing the subject. Gibbs smiled at the memory of relief that had flooded the Senior Field Agent's face with that helping hand.

Tony smiled, remembering the conversation they had in the viewing room of interrogation before they had entered to interview Renny Grant. Seemed like a lifetime ago. Three bullets later and here they were, sitting on an imaginary park bench, neither of them knowing what to say. For all the talking Tony did on a day to day basis, expressing himself really wasn't his forte. So they sat in silence.

Tony watched as scenes played before him, as though his life were a television show. Scenes from his two year anniversary, with Stan Burley. Stan had said something along the lines of "Gibbs must really like you." That feeling was an almost desire, a need. He needed to hear that from the man that sat next to him, but he was never going to be sure of how Gibbs felt about him unless he were told. There was always that uncertainty that Gibbs faith may waver, fall and collapse but he never expected the man to fall and collapse with it.

"I'm sorry, Boss."

The words just tumbled from his lips. Being a disappointment to the man was all he had to offer. He had let him down with Jenny's death, with Kate's. For breaking rule twelve and having fallen for Ziva. All of those thoughts formed that three word sentence. He was ready to accept his punishment and couldn't help but smile when a familiar stinging pain at the back of the head hit the target.

"Don't apologise! It's a…"

"…Sign of weakness. Got it, Boss."

Tony smiled at the familiarity of it all. This was getting them nowhere. They were never going to sort out all the crap by not saying what needed to be said. If he wouldn't accept his apology, there was nothing else to do. The two men sat in silence at a loss for words and no idea where to go from here.

It was going to be a long night.

* * *

_**I know not really worth the wait. Please let me know though if you did think it was a worthwhile chapter though :D Simply because it would make me feel good lol! Nothing like an ego boost first thing of an afternoon :D**_


	18. Chapter 18

This chapter is dedicated to the memory of

**Gary James Wormald**

**11.03.1970 to 25.11.2009**

**May your memories bring us happiness and may you finally find peace.**

**I love you, Big Brother, forever and always.  
**

* * *

**Chapter 18:**

_**2 days previous (continued) – late night:**_

The two men had sat on their little bench in the middle of nowhere for what had seemed like hours. Tony had sighed, Gibbs had grunted. Both men were acknowledging that they had no idea how to get the ball rolling on this one. They needed a mediator. Abby was normally a mediator but she wasn't here and Tony hadn't seen Kate or Jenny for a while. Even if they did show up, Tony thought, there would be no guarantee that all of this would be fixed. They both sat in their contemplative silence, neither moving towards initiating the first move.

After a few more hours, Tony couldn't bear the uncomfortable silence anymore. It was time to get this off his chest.

"So shooting someone..."

Gibbs failed to initiate an act of letting Tony know that he was listening. Gibbs knew this was a long time coming. He thought they may as well start there.

"... did you enjoy it? I mean there are more subtle and nicer ways to get someone out of your life you know Gibbs. Most people start with firing the person. That's what I would have done. I would have fired me, not shot me."

Tony looked at his former mentor, the anger coming out of his trembling body a dead giveaway that this was a long time coming. Tony knew how to deal with this. He was going to say his piece and then when he was awake, he would high-tail it out of there and onto the next career. Gibbs obviously didn't want him around but if the pathetic excuse for a man could use his words once in a while, maybe it wouldn't have come to this. Tony now knew how Gibbs felt about him and he felt stupid just for trusting someone like that again.

"You know, I should've known you were just like him."

Gibbs eyes gestured upwards, giving Tony the signal that Gibbs acknowledged that he knew to whom Tony was referring.

"My father was a bastard. He was an alcohol-swilling bastard that didn't know how to treat the people around him with any respect. I hated him. I still do but I was getting back on my feet. You had become a surrogate father of sorts. I knew I respected you differently to what I could ever respect him."

Gibbs hand swirled the imaginary liquid in the imaginary glass and took the last mouthful with and almighty gulp, feeling the burn all the way down into his stomach, or maybe it was the heat in Tony's words that were doing it.

"But I was wrong again. You always joked that the second B stood for Bastard but I always took it with a grain of salt, you know why?"

Tony left no room for Gibbs to interrupt.

"Because I thought I knew better. I thought that I knew you Gibbs and the man you truly were. I thought to myself, here is a man I can respect. Here is a man who will help me when I need it..."

Gibbs breathing got harder at that statement.

"...Here is a man that I could aspire to be like but you know what..."

Gibbs felt the heat of his own temper rising, spurred on by the alcohol he was still sipping in his motel room.

"...You're just like the rest. An alcoholic, head-slapping son of a B-"

"_YOU THINK THIS IS WHAT I WANTED FOR YOU?!?"_

Gibbs fury had forced him to his feet. Tony was nearly knocked over by the swiftness of the old man as though an imaginary punch had been swung. Tony's eyes were wild with anger and they were matched by the ice cool blue looking back at him. Both men stood there, breathing hard with the emotion that was dripping from their bodies. This was a battle of wits and the winner won an all star pass to freedom, freedom from the other man.

Tony had failed to see the loss in the blood-shot corneas of the other man, the anger inside boiling over to a point of no return.

"What did you want for me Gibbs? Huh?? I had stopped being your devoted little side-kick? Is that it? I wasn't good at following orders anymore?"

"I..."

"Or was it the fact that McGee was doing so much better. He can fight back now. He doesn't flinch at your glares. He doesn't jump every second you're around him. Maybe that's it. I was doing a piss poor job as Senior Field Agent and you wanted to replace me? That's it, isn't it? You didn't have the guts to tell me to disappear and get a new job so you decided it would be easier for you if you shot me."

"I..."

"What was that Gibbs? I can't quite hear you? You thought that shooting me would mean you didn't have to deal with me anymore. I would no longer be the thorn in your side. Well, you know what? I won't be. Once I'm out of this hospital, you won't have to worry about Anthony DiNozzo anymore. I'll do it better on my own. To hell with you, Gibbs! I thought I could trust you to have my back. I thought that you were the one to say 'Never leave a man behind.' What rule is that one Gibbs? You just broke your own rule, Gibbs. You feel empowered by that?"

Gibbs stood in stunned silence, unable to move from the barrage of words he had just been pummelled with. How had things gotten this messy?

"... and you want to know something else, Gibbs. Now that I think about it, I was wrong. You _are_ _nothing_ like my father. My father _never_ shot me."

With that last statement, Tony turned on his heal and headed back in the direction of his hospital room, his back facing Gibbs.

Gibbs knew he had to say something or he was going to lose Tony for good.

"Tony! TONY?!?"

Gibbs ran up to meet with the man, placing a hand on his shoulder, forcing him to face him.

Tony's arms were folded in a sign of defiance. Whatever Gibbs was going to say had better be good or Tony would never forgive them for this mess. Gibbs shook his head. How had this all ended up being so messed up.

"Tony, I..."

"What Gibbs? You what? You can't finish a sentence now, is that it? That's you're big defence? Gibbs, the world's best mute, is speechless?"

Gibbs whacked the back of Tony's head. Tony stood in stunned silence. That was now abuse. Tony saw anger, that Italian temper rising to the surface looking to tear Gibbs a new one. Tony opened his mouth to speak but Gibbs beat him to the punch.

"You think I'm proud that I can't look you in the eye. I can't do this again, Tony, not again."

Gibbs looked Tony in the eye. He was not going to let the boy go without a fight.

"Can't do what again, Gibbs?"

Tony couldn't believe what he was hearing. Was that an admittance of guilt? Gibbs was going to confess something to Tony.

"I can't..."

Gibbs swallowed hard. The words just wouldn't come out.

Tony turned back around, his anger forcing his departure. If Gibbs couldn't admit he was wrong, Tony couldn't work with the man.

"I can't do this again."

"Gibbs you had better tell me what the hell you mean?"

"You think I'm not ashamed of the fact that I can't handle losing you? I've already lost two members of my family. Shannon and Kelly were my life, my everything. You..."

Gibbs temper had reared its ugly head. Fire was evident in his eyes and his finger was pressed against Tony's sternum. If this had been a cartoon, Gibbs face would have been bright red and steam would have been coming out of his ears.

Gibbs looked at Tony and turned to walk away. Tony's hand grabbed Gibbs shoulder and spun him back around to face him.

"Oh no! You're not finishing that there! What about me Gibbs? You wish I had gone quicker? You wish I was already dead?"

The words pummelled Gibbs in the heart. How could Tony think that of him after all they'd been through?

"You – shot – _ME!_ Not the other way around. You want little Timmy to be Senior field Agent that bad? All you had to do was transfer me out. You didn't have to put three bullets into me."

Gibbs was at an absolute loss for words. All of the insecurities that had lay dormant in the younger man had been picked up and thrown at him, hitting him in the heart and stomach.

Tony stared at the former Marine, praying that somewhere within the man, feelings of respect were there. All he received was a dumbfounded silence.

"Nothing to say, huh, Gibbs?" How unusual."

"That's..."

"That's what? That's what you were going to say? That's why you shot me? What about asking me why I'm not dead Gibbs? How about that one?"

"DINOZZO!"

"I don't take your orders anymore, Gibbs."

"Like hell you don't!"

The fire that burned within the two men was almost at boiling point. So much hurt, pain and loss was felt on both sides but neither man knew where to start to even begin repairing the damage.

"If you stopped putting words into my mouth, Tony, you might actually hear what I was going to say."

"I don't think I want to, Gibbs. You made it perfectly clear on what you thought when you shot me!

"_THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT!"_

Gibbs temper was AWOL. He didn't care anymore. If this was going to happen, now was as good a time as any.

This time it was Tony's turn to look dumbfounded not realising that the expression on his face proved just how similar he and Gibbs truly were.

"You can ask Ducky, Ziva, Tim or Abby! They have proof, _HARD PROOF_, that my bullets were not intentional."

Tony moved his mouth as if he was about to protest and Gibbs stared at him, challenging him to try. Gibbs continued, never removing his eyes from the Tony, showing the anger that was threatening to be unleashed.

"Now, I said, I have already lost two members of my family. It nearly killed me. Actually, it did kill me. I proceeded to wipe their images from my mind as a way of coping. Burying a child is something a parent never expects to do. I was damned if I was going to do it a second time."

Gibbs tried to illustrate the meaning behind his words in his eyes, but confusion was still written across Tony's features.

"Gibbs, what do you mean the sec... OUCH!"

Tony rubbed at the back of his head. Even in hallucinations Gibbs head slaps were painful.

Tony looked at Gibbs, a look of loss etched across his aging features.

Gibbs had to swallow hard. This was why he never spoke about anything like this. It just made things more complicated.

Gibbs woke up in his hotel room, the bottle of bourbon was wasted across the rug. The chair he was sitting in didn't agree with his joints and his mouth tasted as though he had Darwinism growing across it. He rubbed at his face and looked towards the blinds. No light was filtering through them just yet but by the sounds of the distant birds, Gibbs could tell that morning wasn't far off.

Gibbs rolled out of the chair, the nearly empty bottle left forgotten on the floor. Gibbs went into the bathroom and shut the door. He looked like hell.

Steam and moisture rolled out from under the bathroom door into the empty hotel room, the water dripping through the days of vomit, hard liquor and tears.

He was not going to let Tony see him like this.

* * *

_**A/N: all of you out there in FFnet land that have been following this story, know that originally it stemmed as a way for me to cope with my brother's fight against Alcohol Addiction. After nearly losing him to it in February, Father and Son was penned to ease the stress of having nearly lost my Big Brother. As you may have noticed, Gary passed away what will be a month on Christmas Day. **_

_**This story is now my dedication to him, forever and always with love**_

_**xxx**_


	19. Chapter 19

_**A/N: you guys are really lucky... two uploads of Father & Son in a month. lol Hopefully I will finish it soon for you all out there.**_

_**On with the drama :)  
**_

**

* * *

Chapter 19:**

_**One Day Previous: Early Afternoon.**_

Ducky watched as the rise and fall of the younger man's chest hindered for a second, torment and anguish evident in the disturbed sleeping pattern of the pained man.

"Oh, Jethro."

Ducky reached for his glasses and wiped away at the invisible spots that had magically accumulated there in the last five minutes. It was a nervous habit more than anything, being that he had last cleaned the spectacles only ten minutes prior. Staring at the lenses into the distant fluorescence of light in Tony's hospital room, Ducky thought about all that they could lose if Gibbs or Tony didn't return from this disaster.

"If only you could see how much he actually needs you? All this guilt over something that isn't your fault isn't doing anyone any good. Drinking yourself into a stupor isn't going to make this better. You, of all people, should know that by now. We've suffered this much loss before. What makes this time so different."

"I'm sorry Dr. Mallard? Were you speaking to me?"

For a quick second Ducky's head twisted before the still and untormented figure in the hospital bed, hoping that Tony had finally found the strength to return to them. He was momentarily upset by the fact that Tony's breathing had eased but he had not awoken.

Feeling a hand reach for his shoulder, Ducky turned around to see the familiar silhouette of his dear colleague.

"As a matter of fact, I was. Where..."

Gibbs let go of his old friend's shoulder, walking past the threshold of the hospital room into the presence of the sickly man that lay in the bed. Gibbs looked Tony over, regarding the light film of sweat that covered his brow. Without hesitation, Gibbs grabbed a clean hankie from his pocket and moistened it under a nearby tap. He let the coolness caress his swollen fingers as he gently squeezed the excess moisture from the delicate material. Walking back over to Tony's side, Gibbs folded the cloth so that a larger area was available to lay across Tony's forehead. Gibbs pressed gently, ever so gently with the wet material, hesitating as though the gesture may injure Tony more.

Gibbs had not expected Tony's head to move and pulled his hand away in reaction. Remembering the look that Tony had given him the last time he had offered that form of treatment. Gibbs hesitated for a brief moment as he went to continue the motion. Looking towards the closed eyes of the other man, Gibbs felt a sense of loss as he dragged his hand back towards himself.

His hand hadn't moved far before it was pushed back towards the sickly man's forehead, Ducky having seen the uncertainty for himself. Ducky's pressure was forceful but light on the back of Gibbs hand, a motion suggesting encouragement rather than an annoyance. Gibbs hand lay gently across Tony's sweat ridden brow as he looked into the eyes of his long-standing friend. Ducky removed his hand from on top of Gibbs', stepping back as the hand stayed in the position it was left.

Clearing his throat, Ducky retreated towards the threshold, struggling to hide the intense emotion that was threatening to spill over.

"Well..."

Ducky tried clearing his throat again.

"I-I had, uh, better be off then."

Gibbs made sure he looked the Medical Examiner in the eye, disregarding the discomfort the other was feeling. Gibbs was in the same boat also being at a loss for what to say. The two men nodded at each other, the depth of respect and gratitude acknowledged with that one gesture.

Ducky walked out into the hall of Bethesda, quietly lifting his own hankie to the corner of his eye and placing his hat upon his head, Ducky walked towards the nurse's station knowing that young Anthony was finally with the person that he needed the most.

_*********_

Tim, Ziva and Abby had followed every lead, had covered every nook and searched every cranny. They had come up with nothing but dead ends.

"Let's face it. Gibbs doesn't want to be found and anyone who is a trained sniper would definitely know how to cover their tracks."

"Bite your tongue, McGee. Gibbs would never bail on us, never, ever, ever. Maybe he just needs some time alone. This is Tony we're talking about."

"But Abby, are you not forgetting the time Gibbs ran away from all of this to Mexico. We have clarified that he did not run quite that far but we do know that Gibbs is having trouble dealing with this. As you said, this is Tony. No one really knows what Gibbs is thinking. When you lost Kate, sure, Gibbs was upset but she had only just come into the fold, yes?"

Tim and Abby looked at the Moussad Officer with utter disdain across their features.

"That is true, Abby. Kate had only been on the team for a couple of years. Tony, Tony has been with Gibbs for over a third of his career. No one else has that esteem..."

Abby's stare in Tim's direction could have floored the man had it a physical form.

"What I mean..."

Time stammered trying to regather the dirt into the hole he was starting to dig himself into.

"You do realise, McGee, that I am one of the few people...

"Yeah, I know, Abby. You are one of the few people in the world that can kill me without leaving a trace of evidence. Isn't that line getting old?"

"Do you want to be the first to see if I think it is getting old, McGee?"

Tim swallowed so hard that Ziva, who was sitting at her desk on the opposite side of the bullpen had heard the gulp.

"What I was trying to say, Abby, was that no one has held that esteem in the field. You only see Gibbs a couple, maybe four at the most, times a day. Tony is nearly with the man day in and day out for hours at a time. They have come to rely on the fact that they will always be there for each other."

Abby regarded the junior Agent momentarily, letting his words seep into her being. Tim did have a valid point. Kate had only been on the team a short while and even though she had been working with Gibbs for about the same length of time as Tony, Gibbs did happen to rely on Tony on a more personal level than he did on her. With Tony it could be, and quite literally was, a matter of life or death.

"Also..."

Ziva chimed in with her two cents worth.

"Also, we are all aware that Gibbs has already lost a daughter. From what we have gathered, he had a reasonably healthy and normal relationship with her, as he does to an extent with you, Abby. With McGee and myself, we have a reasonably healthy relationship in that we can communicate our feelings, although with some difficulty, with each other and with Gibbs. When it comes to Tony, as far as we know, Gibbs may think that Tony believes that he never cared for him. Maybe that is why. Maybe Gibbs believes that Tony thinks that he is just like Tony's father. They have never voiced it to each other, right?"

"We have to find Gibbs before Tony wakes up."

The elevator dinged across the quietening floor of the NCIS building. A Scottish brogue wafted through the doors to the ears of the Special Agent, the Liaison Officer and the Forensic Scientist.

"There will be no need for that, I'm afraid, Abigail."

"Ducky, what are you doing back from the hospital? What if Tony wakes up and discovers he has been left there and no one has waited for him. He'll be devastated."

Ducky placed each of his hands on Abby's shoulders, trying to stem calm through the action. Tim stood up from his place at his desk and made his way over towards the two people standing in the middle of the room. Ziva mimicked the motion, copying the movement from her own desk. All three of the younger personnel held a quizzical look towards the older ME, all three of their eyes simultaneously lighting up with the realisation of what Ducky was implying.

"He's really back?"

"Yes, my dear. He is up at the hospital now, watching over young Anthony as we speak."

"Do you think we could see him, Ducky?"

"I think it might be best if we all leave the two of them to heal, Timothy. I think Jethro needs to reconnect with our young charge and remind himself that he is actually an important part of the young man's life."

"I believe this calls for a castration!"

Three pairs of eyes looked disgustingly at the former assassin. The imagery that had formulated in each of their mind's eye were vividly and quickly disgarded as laughter broke amongst them all.

Ziva held a look of confusion, wondering where all the delirium had come from.

Tim, wiping away at the tears that were streaming down his face, held his side as he gasped for air.

"The word is _celebration_, Ziva. Not castration."

"Then what is castration?"

Tim, Abby and Ducky stood in silence, each looking at the other.

"Abby, you do it."

Tim nudged her toward Ziva, forcibly hiding behind the Goth.

"Why me?"

"Well, because once she knows what it is, we know she can't do it to you."

_*********_

Gibbs looked at the watch on his wrist. It was just after two in the morning and he had still not managed to get any sleep. He had a hard time sleeping, the alcohol that was still in his system was causing a large amount of restlessness and the plastic chair he had been left with didn't help that either. Maybe he could just leave for a few moments, just to get a coffee and stretch the limbs that had been positioned in the same manner for almost eight hours.

Gibbs had no idea what to say to the young man. He had once been told that people could hear what you were saying to them while they were in a coma. Gibbs didn't know if he wanted that to be true or not. What if Gibbs said something and Tony remembered it? That wouldn't do but he wouldn't be able to do the talking thing once Tony was awake. That would be even more awkward.

Deciding to clear his mind, Gibbs got up and walked down the corridor to grab some more coffee. If sleep wasn't helping, the caffeine might allow for at least some peace of mind.

********

The familiar voices had long since disappeared with the closing of visiting hours. All that remained were the common sounds of computer fans whirring, keyboards clicking into the hollowness of an empty hallway and the soft voices of nurses at their posts keeping guard on their patients further down the corridors.

Tony awoke to fear of the unknown and the silence of nobody having waited for him.

Tony went through a checklist in his head to try and figure out what had happened. He remembered the pain that didn't seem to be with him anymore, the burning in his chest and the deep sharp breaths that he had to have been taking to try and catch up with his boss.

'Gibbs?' he thought with a saddened look on his face, not realising, momentarily why it made him so upset. He had a vague recollection of running down a hallway towards the front of the hospital to try and catch Gibbs before he disappeared out of his life as a friend, as his Dad. Then it dawned on him. What if Gibbs never came back? He would just be another person that had disappeared when Tony needed them the most.

He was all alone.

The tear that trickled down his face and onto his pillow did not go unnoticed by one Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

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_**Just so you all know, you may think you've read the last bit before. It ties in with Chapter 11 -- the bit that started off on Gibbs disappearence. The last line however was not in chapter 11... I hope someone noticed that lol**_

_**Tell me what you think... I'm not overly pleased with it and if you think you could help me make it better (in a nice way) just leave me a review and I'll see what I can do.**_

_**Happy New Year to you all xxx**_

_**Sal**_


	20. Chapter 20

_**A/N: The longest chapter I have written for this story and I think, well I hope it ties up all the loose ends. More A/N at the end.

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**_

**Chapter 20:**

It was well into the morning and Tony had awoken not remembering having fallen asleep. The room was empty, save for the chair opposite the bed under the window and the usual hospital get up that surrounded him; table that was on wheels so he could eat what they apparently thought was food, the bedside table that housed all of his personals and last but not least the ever present medical chart.

He had been awake on and off now for close to nine hours. He had been poked, prodded and pin-cushioned. He wanted out already but he knew that would never happen, not while he still had a catheter in, not while he was not eating solid food and especially because no one wanted him. The doctors wouldn't release him unless it was into someone else's care and as of this moment, Tony was all alone.

He sighed. This was going to be a long recovery. The anti-pain medication made it bearable but the heart ache was harder to fix. Tony was assaulted by reminiscences of trying to get Gibbs back as he chased him down the hallway. He remembered that and it didn't sit right, like he was missing part of the story.

As his eyes adjusted to the light, he was faced with the gorgeous face of his nurse. She was a brunette, tall slender and her work uniform was comfortable and functional. She had pretty eyes, almost the colour of yellow but not in a creepy way. She had a button nose and her smile was friendly and welcoming.

"Ok, Mr. DiNozzo?"

Tony offered her his best grin, well as best as he could. Considering that he was struggling to stay awake again she simply smiled and went about her business.

"Right, I need a blood sample a temperature and a blood pressure. And you're going to give me all three without fuss."

Tony simply smiled. When he become so weak? He was exhausted and still struggled with staying awake.

"Ow!"

His eyes jolted opened with the insertion of the needle. He had liked her up until that point. When she left, Tony winced at the pain of being left alone, not only from her but from the lack of people he had thought cared about him. That feeling was short lived, however.

"TTTTOOOONNNNNYYYYYYY!"

Tony heard her before he saw her. He didn't even have time to brace himself as he was smothered in black leather, clunky chains, ruby lips and flying pigtails.

Trying to stem the breathing that was causing her hair to tickle his throat, Abby was pried away from the man by Tim and Jimmy Palmer but once she was let go, Abby only made to run back and re-engulf him in a second bone-crushing hug.

"I missed you too, Abby!"

Abby stood back and punched him in the arm, it having been the one the blood had been taken from. She smiled proudly as he let out a yelp of pain.

"Ow, Abby! What was that for?"

"That, my friend, is for scaring the crap out of everyone here! Three times, Tony! We didn't even know about the third one until we found you in a coma!"

Tony tried to look sheepishly in the Forensic Scientist's direction but failed miserably because he knew that they actually did care for him and what happened to him. Looking around the room, Tony couldn't help but notice that there was someone missing from the affray.

"Where's the Boss?"

"Jethro has some other matters to attend to. He will be back this afternoon to see you he informs me."

Tony couldn't hide the slight disappointment in his face nor did he miss the glances that were shared around the room between the people crowding his space.

"What?"

The question was asked generally of the room. Everyone stared at each other, awkwardly, none of them knowing where to start.

Ziva spoke up first.

"Actually, we were hoping that you would be able to tell us."

Tony had a look of absolute loss written across his face. He had no idea what they were talking about. He was sure the team were going to fill the gaps in for him seeing as he had been the one not in the world of the living for the last two weeks or so. He looked hopefully towards all of his team mates, almost pleading with them to tell him what the hell was going on.

He finally landed on Palmer, who was trying to go unnoticed up the back of the group.

"PALMER!"

Tony's impression of Gibbs made almost everyone stand at attention but he got the result he was after, Jimmy having started stammering the minute he caught Tony's eyes.

"W-w-w-well, you see..."

"Spit it out Palmer!"

"Y-You're the only one that's seen Gibbs."

"No! I haven't seen him, what's your point..."

"What Mr. Palmer is trying to say, Anthony that besides myself, no one has actually seen Gibbs and I only saw him briefly. I had to attend to mother who was causing havoc at the Nursing Home and I left you in Gibbs care."

Tony looked confused and glanced towards the rest of the team who were all nodding their heads in agreement. Tony was always in Gibbs care. That was old news. It probably meant that Gibbs hadn't left the hospital in five days. Although that was worrisome, Gibbs was always there for him. He couldn't understand what all the fuss was about.

"He... he didn't tell you?"

Ducky's eyes locked with Tony's, uncertainty still evident within.

"Didn't tell me what?"

"Jethro has been missing about as long as you have been taking your extremely lengthy nap. We thought he would be here with you when you woke up and we were all looking forward to seeing him as much as we were looking forward to seeing you."

Tony took those words to heart. He hadn't imagined Gibbs walking out the door of the hospital. His face held a second of loss as he quickly recovered so no one else could see. Tony remembered those last moments before the pain took over. As quickly as they disappeared, Tony suddenly had an epiphany.

The memories were sketchy but Tony remembered a park bench, it was set up next to a road and sitting beside him was... GIBBS! Tony squeezed his eyes shut as though doing so would make the recollection return with more intensity. It was almost a dream he felt but it also seemed so real.

Tony floated off, lost in thought. The rest of the team started to settle around him, trying to get as comfortable as best they could. Abby plonked herself on the bed with Tony, making him move his legs across so she could sit down. Ducky got comfortable in the chair provided, well as much as moulded plastic could make someone comfortable. Ziva stood near the head of his bed, subconsciously running her fingers through his hair while Tim leant on the railing at the end of the bed and Palmer leant against the door frame into the room.

After several moments of silence, Tony got the courage to speak, everyone intently waiting for Tony to say anything.

"Gibbs?... When Gibbs shot me?... That was an accident?"

The entire team looked at him, each with a quizzical look upon their face. Abby was the first to sever the silence, breaking through the barrier of bewilderment.

"Tony, how did you know that? We never got a chance to tell you before you ended up in the second coma."

"I-I don't know, Abs. I remember having a conversation with the Boss, I think."

Tony's eyes lifted to meet the Goth's head on. He had been playing with a random strand of cotton that was on one of the bed sheets. All the eyes in the room lit up at their colleague's name hoping that Tony would continue with that story.

Ducky stood and made his way over to the chair. It was very interesting that even though Tony had not yet apparently seen or spoken to the missing Marine that the Italian knew it was an accident when he had been shot by Gibbs.

"Tell me dear boy, but what else was the conversation about?"

"Well, I remember I was yelling at Gibbs and then I told him that he should have fired me instead of shooting me. I told him he was nothing like my father because my father had never..."

Tony's voice trailed off, ashamed at the connection he had made in his head.

"Never what, Anthony?"

"My father had never shot me. Ducky I told him he was worse than my father. It was just a dream right?"

Ducky had no idea what to say to that.

"The mind has an unusual way of dealing with things, Anthony. I'm sure Gibbs didn't actually hear that conversation."

Tony looked up at the ME, smiling although not completely. His thoughts faded from that conversation to memories of a different nature. These ones were fresher, more vivid.

Memories plucked at his brain cells.

"Gibbs was here when I woke up."

"That I was."

Every head turned to the doorway, relief abundant in their looks. Gibbs smiled awkwardly as he made his way over to Tony's bed, placing his steaming hot brew on the bedside table. No one said a thing but smiled in Gibbs' general direction. The Boss was back, he was really back.

"Gibbs...?"

The silver-haired man held up his index finger in an indication to everyone that he would talk to them all later. Watching intently as Tony was now struggling to stay awake, Gibbs ushered everyone out of the room. He was met by protest but stood there administering _the glare_ and before he knew it, everyone was saying their goodbye.

"Don't you go back into a coma, Mister or I will hunt you down in your dreams."

"Shalom, Tony. You rest and we will be back to see you."

"See ya Tony."

"Goodbye, young man. I want to see you awake tomorrow, no more scares, OK?"

Palmer just waved as Tony drifted off into memories of dreams.

********

_Flashes of him yelling at the Lead Agent attacked his reverie, remembering the anger that had risen with in him. He remembered yelling at the man, telling him everything that he felt about being shot, about Tim taking his spot as Senior Field Agent. That was when the words hit him like a steam train:_

"_... and you want to know something else, Gibbs. Now that I think about it, I was wrong. You are nothing like my father. My father never shot me."_

"_You think I'm proud that I can't look you in the eye. I can't do this again, Tony, not again...You think I'm not ashamed of the fact that I can't handle losing you? I've already lost two members of my family. Shannon and Kelly were my life, my everything. You..."_

"_Oh no! You're not finishing that there! What about me Gibbs? You wish I had gone quicker? You wish I was already dead? ... You – shot – ME! Not the other way around. You want little Timmy to be Senior field Agent that bad? All you had to do was transfer me out. You didn't have to put three bullets into me."_

"_That's..."_

"_That's what? That's what you were going to say? That's why you shot me? What about asking me why I'm not dead Gibbs? HOW ABOUT THAT ONE?!?"_

"_DINOZZO! ... If you stopped putting words into my mouth, you might actually hear what I was going to say."_

"_I don't think I want to, Gibbs. You made it perfectly clear on what you thought when you shot me!"_

"_THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT! ...You can ask Ducky, Ziva, Tim or Abby! They have proof, HARD PROOF, that my bullets were not intentional... I said I have already lost two members of my family. It nearly killed me. Actually, it did kill me. I proceeded to wipe their images from my mind as a way of coping. Burying a child is something a parent never expects to do. I was damned if I was going to do it a second time."_

********

Tony's eyes seeped open groggily to find that Gibbs was still sitting beside him in that uncomfortable looking chair. The rest of the team was gone and Gibbs sat engrossed in a copy of Sniper Monthly.

"I remember, Boss."

Tony's voice was croaky but more from thirst than from emotion.

"Oh, you do, do you?"

"I remember the conversation on the park bench. I remember you never answered my question."

Gibbs took a sip of his coffee, regarding the sleepy eyed agent across from him. How on earth could Tony remember that? It had been in Gibbs' head, hadn't it? It was the result of too many liquor bottles being emptied into his stomach and not enough food.

"And what question was that, DiNozzo?"

Tony could tell that Gibbs was uncomfortable with where this conversation was heading, the use of his last name to address him was one of the bigger clues. Tony pushed on knowing that it would make his Leader let out more information than he was willing.

"You said that you couldn't bury a second child. What did you mean by that?"

Gibbs eyes lit up with the memory. How did he know that? As if hearing his thoughts, Tony answered the question before Gibbs could ask it.

"I don't know, Boss, I just do."

Gibbs stood up, placing his cup back down on the eating table provided. Gently, Gibbs placed his hand on Tony's shoulder, gripping tightly.

"If you can remember the hallucination, the answer should be in the real memory."

Gibbs sat back down, and took his coffee back in his hand. He watched Tony run through his thoughts and watched intently as Tony's eyes grew wide as a second memory attacked his brain.

********

_The familiar voices had long since disappeared with the closing of visiting hours. All that remained were the common sounds of computer fans whirring, keyboards clicking into the hollowness of an empty hallway and the soft voices of nurses at their posts keeping guard on their patients further down the corridors. _

_Tony awoke to fear of the unknown and the silence of nobody having waited for him. _

_Tony went through a checklist in his head to try and figure out what had happened. He remembered the pain that didn't seem to be with him anymore, the burning in his chest and the deep sharp breaths that he had to have been taking to try and catch up with his boss. _

'_Gibbs?' he thought with a saddened look on his face, not realising, momentarily why it made him so upset. He had a vague recollection of running down a hallway towards the front of the hospital to try and catch Gibbs before he disappeared out of his life as a friend, as his Dad. Then it dawned on him. What if Gibbs never came back? He would just be another person that had disappeared when Tony needed them the most. _

_He was all alone._

_The tear that trickled down his face and onto his pillow did not go unnoticed by one Leroy Jethro Gibbs._

_Gibbs felt like he was intruding on a very private moment. He had never seen Tony cry, not once. He was always joking around goofing off or serious. The man hadn't even cried at Kate's funeral. Gibbs had always suspected he had shed some tears alone but it was never Gibbs place to ask and it wasn't something you could easily bring up in conversation: _So, ah, when was the last time you cried?_ Gibbs smiled for the moment, wondering whether he should interrupt the younger man's thought process or not. He could wait silently in the shadows until Tony fell back asleep but Tony had been comatose for nearly a week and more than likely wasn't feeling overly tired, well not enough to go back to sleep in an instant. _

_Gibbs cleared his throat loudly enough for Tony to hear him. The Senior Field Agent jolted upright in his bed, startled by the sound. Wiping his face quickly, Tony turned on the biggest grin, making a person believe that it might've been possible to see this one from space. Gibbs was not fooled._

"_Boss? What are you doing here? It's gotta be well past visiting hours by now."_

"_Six to be exact."_

"_It's two in the morning? How long was I out?"_

"_Five days, DiNozzo."_

"_Five..." Tony's voice trailed off. He'd been gone for five days. How long was he gone before that?_

"_How long..."_

"_That was closer to seven days."_

"_Twelve days? Wow that's almost a fortnight. You shot me nearly a fortnight ago."_

_Even as he had said them, Tony knew he couldn't take them back. He looked in the eyes of the Lead Agent to find that he couldn't return the look. Tony felt awful._

"_I'm s-sorry..."_

"_Don't apologise..."_

"_Yeah, I know, sign of weakness. Got it Boss."_

"_No." _

_Gibbs emphasised the word, making sure that the bed-ridden Agent knew there was more than just that word as a reply._

"**You**_ have nothing to apologise for."_

_At that statement, Tony looked up into Gibbs eyes, searching for the answer to the unspoken question. Finding that Gibbs was not going to give out any information voluntarily, Tony would have to try and see if he could slip the old man up. This was not going to be an easy task._

"_I do, I mean... well, the last time I saw you..."_

_This really wasn't going the way Tony had planned. _

_Gibbs looked up towards the agent then, trying to see what his eyes held. Remorse? Loss? What loss would Tony be feeling? He'd just woken up from a coma. He should be embracing life. Instead, Tony looked like a little boy in a supermarket that couldn't find their Daddy._

"_I chased you down the hall."_

_The words were attached to emotion, making them almost inaudible. Gibbs heard it. He swallowed hard and started trying to use his words in return._

"_I heard you."_

"_I'm glad because I didn't want to say that again."_

_The quick-fire comeback was shut down by the look he received from the older man. Now was not the time for joking around. _

"_No, Tony. That's not what I meant."_

_Gibbs made his way across to the side of Tony's bed, the light that was softly being emitted by the humming fluorescent above them showed just how tired Gibbs was. His vivid blue eyes were red rimmed, the circles under them as black as coal. He looked like he'd been through the wringer, wrung out and put back through the wringer. This was not the Gibbs that Tony had chased down the hallway of Bethesda, No, something had happened to him in the last five days._

"_What did you mean, Boss?"_

_Tony's eyes looked questioningly at the man above him. He wanted him to sit down. He wanted him to get some rest. He didn't know if he wanted the answer._

"_I heard you, Tony, when you chased me down the hall. I heard you call my name and..."_

_Tony looked into Gibbs eyes and saw shame hidden there. It took Tony aback. One thing he had never seen in Gibbs eyes was shame._

"_And what? Gibbs! Tell me what happened?"_

"_I kept walking, Tony. I – I didn't think... I didn't want..."_

_Gibbs eyes held a mass amount of pain. Tony had only seen that look one time previously. It had been two years ago when Gibbs had awoken from his coma, remembering the loss of his wife and daughter._

"_You didn't want...?"_

"_I didn't... I couldn't face you. Not after you... You thought I was your father."_

_Tony's mind refreshed on awakening from the nightmare he had been having. He had seen Gibbs pulling the trigger and had awoken to find that Gibbs was there, mopping his brow. Tony remembered having given Gibbs of utter disgust and the man returned the gesture by obediently walking out of his hospital room. As Gibbs had walked out of his room, Tony also remembered the loss and the pain of what he had said coming back to him. That was why he had got up from his bed and chased Gibbs down the hall. He hadn't wanted to lose Gibbs. He had already lost one father, be damned if he was going to lose the second._

"_I told you that?"_

_Gibbs looked taken aback. Gibbs had been told that but that was by a hallucination. Gibbs was drunk and as far as he could remember, he was nowhere near Tony at the time._

_Gibbs flashed back to that night, the alcohol starting to wear through in splashes. He remembered catching a cab to the hospital. He remembered smiling at the nurse at the front counter saying that his son was in ICU. He remembered sitting down next to Tony and holding his hand. He remembered, he remembered that he had done that every night. He hadn't abandoned Tony like he thought he had! He had sat next to Tony every night, only he was too drunk to remember._

"_You are."_

_Gibbs missed the conversation, having been attacked by his memories._

"_What?"_

_Tony looked into the man's eyes, unsure of what he was asking. So he reiterated what he had said. _

"_You said that you thought that I thought that you were my father and..."_

_Gibbs eyes met Tony's. The look that Gibbs gave him, one of encouragement rather than hatred forced Tony to say the words again._

"_...And I replied with, you are."_

_Tony's breath hitched in his throat at what he had just admitted._

_Gibbs looked at the younger man, more pain evident in his eyes. So Tony really did think that Gibbs was just like his father. Gibbs stood back from the edge of the bed, hoping that the trembling that was coursing through his body could not be seen. _

_Tony reached out, missing the former Marine by a millisecond. Then he realised what Gibbs probably thought he meant. Oh boy, this was going to be tough._

"_Wait! No! That's not... that's not what I meant."_

_Gibbs maintained his position, looking guardedly at the linoleum floor of the hospital. His arms were folded across his chest in a defensive position and his eyes refused to look at the man opposite him. _

_Tony took the silence as his cue to continue talking._

"_What I meant was..."_

_Tony took a deep breath._

"_You __**are**__ my Dad. You're not the closest thing I have to one; in my mind..." Tony took a second breath. "You are him, Gibbs, the one that I think I should have had when I was young."_

_Gibbs unfolded his arms but still refused to make eye contact, hoping that the motion would cause the younger man to not look in his face. Gibbs was blinking rapidly, trying to force back all the emotion that was threatening to flood out. The last five days, the past fifteen years, it was all held together very carefully by a fine piece of string called diversion. This was the moment that would make him face the reality he had hidden. He could never tell Tony how much he cared for him because the last time he had told someone that, they left him, not of their own free will but they were forced to leave him, alone. _

_Tony was worried that Gibbs was angry at him for having divulged such a useless nonsense. That realisation caused him to go back into recovery mode, like his _**father**_ had taught him so many years ago._

"_Well, I mean, in... the... in the professional sense. I mean, you're my... my B-Boss."_

_Gibbs stepped forward back into the light and placed his hand tightly on Tony's shoulder, squeezing it slightly to stop the boy from rambling. Tony stopped talking as he regarded the gesture. He looked up towards his mentor, his Dad. He studied the weary eyes steadily and saw the tears that were lacing the edge of the lids. Tony knew Gibbs had heard him and the older man appreciated the words. Tony, trying to fight back his own tears, smiled, his eyes acknowledging that Gibbs felt the same way in return._

_The two men stayed like that for what seemed like hours but what were only minutes. Gibbs eventually let go, Tony having to catch himself from reaching back out for the hand that was returning towards its owner. Gibbs turned back towards the chair and went to sit down only remembering then that he had been just about to go out and get a coffee, the first one, he recognized, he may actually get to finish in close to a fortnight._

*******

Tony's eyes lit up at the insight, lost for words. Gibbs too had relived the thoughts in his head, bravely fighting off the tears that still were trying to break free. Both men looked at each other, and smiled.

"You think we'll be ok, Boss?"

Gibbs sat back down in the chair, resuming the intake of his caffeine, looking back towards the son he had always wanted.

Tony just smiled as he fell back to sleep, content in the silence he received as an answer.

As soft snores were heard to sound gently out of the younger man, Gibbs looked back up and whispered to him, hoping like hell that Tony could actually hear the words escape his lips.

"You know what, son, I think we will be."

_Finis_

_

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_**A/N: Well there it is people, the final installment of Father and Son (it only took me 10 months of writing lol) I would like to thank all the people that read this story, left messages of support and condolences for the loss of my brother. The response has been at times overwhelming and I thank you all out there for the efforts that you went to. **_

_**Also, I am sorry if I did not respond to each and individual review. They were all very much appreciated and I really hope that this chapter holds up to a standard that you all were looking for. **_

_**Thankyou all once again.**_

_**Stay safe and happy**_

_**Love your way**_

_  
**Sal**_

**_xxx_  
**


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